Lost Love (Cowboys & Angels 1)

My stomach tightened.

“What in the hell did you to her, Steed? Whatever it was, I know you told Mom and that’s why she isn’t talking to you. She told Dad she’s never been so angry with one of her kids in her life.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but Amelia kept on. “She said she was ready to let Paxton make good on her threat. Now I remember that threat, even though I was twelve. You said something to her at y’all’s graduation and she said she hated you. Was going to cut off your—”

“Oh. My. God. Meli, stop talking.”

She leaned back in her chair. “Last week when you and Mom went out to talk, Paxton was a basket case. She tried to act like she was okay, but her hands were shaking, and she kept touching her stomach.” Her eyes narrowed. “I’m not stupid and I’ve put two and two together. Please tell me you didn’t make her do something you would both regret.”

I froze. “What? What in the hell do you mean?”

She leaned forward. “Abortion?”

I jumped up. “Fuck no. I would never do that!”

Letting out a breath, she mumbled, “Thank God. So why is Mom so pissed at you?”

I shook my head. The memories hit me hard. Paxton’s cries echoed through my thoughts. Maybe it was selfish to want to tell someone else, but I was tired of keeping it a secret. Tired of pretending it had never happened.

“The last day of school our senior year, Paxton told me she was pregnant.”

Amelia covered her mouth. “She was pregnant?”

Swallowing hard, I was transported back to the day.

Paxton sat in the stands staring out over the football field. I’d gotten her text to meet her there not long before. The second I walked up, I knew something was wrong. My heart started beating harder. We were both set to go to Texas A & M that fall. We were moving in together much to our parent’s disliking.

What if she changed her mind? Shit.

“Hey, pumpkin. Is everything okay?”

Paxton forced a smile. Then she started to cry.

Rushing to her, I pulled her into my arms. “Pax, baby tell me what’s wrong.”

She buried her face in my chest and pulled at my T-shirt. “Tell me it’s going to be okay, Steed. Please.”

The pleading in her voice scared me. “You have to tell me what’s wrong, Paxton, before I can tell you it’s okay.”

I pulled back and found that her blue eyes were bloodshot, liked she’d been crying for hours. My heart was racing.

“It’s okay, pumpkin. Tell me.”

She chewed on her lip and stared at the ground before looking back into my eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

The words felt like someone had thrown them at me with a brick attached to them. “W-what?”

She shook her head. “I know how scary it is, but we can make this work.”

I dropped my hold on her and took a few steps back.

“I don’t want to be a dad right now. Fuck. I can’t be a dad right now. This is going to mess everything up.”

Her face dropped. “I’m not giving up this baby, Steed.”

Taking a few steps, I shook my head again. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now. I need to think.”

“So you left her standing there alone?”

I nodded. No use in trying to sugarcoat anything.

“What a total asshole move. No wonder Mom isn’t talking to you. Prick.”

With a frown, I replied, “That’s not the worst part. I ignored her until the day before graduation.”

Amelia gasped. “Steed Parker.”

“I needed time to think. Shit, my whole life had just changed. Once the shock wore off and I realized that we could make anything work as long as we had each other, and how much I’d love the baby, I went to her. It was too late.”

My sister’s eyes grew wide. “Why? What did she do?”

Paxton walked slowly up the stairs of the high school, her head down. Rushing over to her, I called her name.

“Paxton!”

Her eyes filled with tears the second she saw me.

“Hey, I’m so sorry I’ve been avoiding you. I needed time to think about everything. I’m sorry.”

She looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, and I hated myself for putting her through all the stress.

“I know I said I didn’t want to be a father, but…I’ve been thinking. We can make this work, Pax. I love you and I know I’ll love the baby too.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. “I lost the baby early this morning. I just got back from the doctor.”

Relief washed over my body and I closed my eyes, whispering, “Thank, God.”

When I opened my eyes, Paxton’s horrified expression stunned me. “What?” she said.

“Nothing. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me, Paxton? Did you go through that alone?”

Her eyes seemed lost. “Why would I call you? You made it clear you didn’t care about me or our baby. I need to sit down, I was supposed to go home and rest, not come here.”