“Ditto, sexcretary.” He smacked me on the ass.
“We should get back to work.”
I grimaced, but we started walking again.
Three
I got a call that night from Lucah’s sister-in-law, April. She had three little girls under the age of four and sometimes she got desperate for adult time.
“How’s it going?” I said. She laughed a little hysterically and I sat down on the couch next to Lucah. He turned the volume down on the movie and pulled my feet into his lap to massage. He really was the best of the best.
“I don’t even know how to make words anymore. Little Miss Lola has decided that sleep is the enemy. Any sleep. Ever. The minute her eyes close, she scrunches her face up and her eyes pop open. I tried bribing her with a pony, but then Gracie and Fiona heard and now they want ponies for sleeping at night.” I heard little voices giggling in the background. Lucah’s nieces were just adorable, but add two energetic little girls on top of a newborn and you had a sundae of crazy.
“What about getting a nanny? Just for a few hours. She could watch the girls and you could take care of Lola. Or vice-versa.” It really wasn’t my place to be giving parenting advice. I didn’t plan on having kids for at least five or six years. At least. Lucah had moved my marriage timeline down a lot, but I was sticking firm on the baby timeline. I had too much else to do before I could give my time up to kiddos.
She sighed.
“I know, but then I feel like a bad mother. Like I should be able to do all of this by myself and not need help. I mean, I only have three. Some people have like, seven, right in a row.” I shuddered. That was definitely not going to be me. I was thinking one. Maybe two. Then we’d have to see about adding more. And they were definitely going to be spaced out.
“You know that’s not true,” I said.
“I know, I know. I’m just so tired I can’t even think anymore. I’m sorry.”
“Hey, don’t apologize. How about I come down on Saturday and take you out with the baby. Tate and Lucah can watch the girls and it will be just us.” She sighed as if this was her ideal vision of heaven.
“That would be wonderful, thank you. I feel like I’m spinning in a vortex of breast milk and poopy diapers and no sleep.” I honestly couldn’t imagine.
“Well, I’ll pull you out of it, for a least a few hours.”
“Thank you. Have I told you lately that I love you?” I laughed.
“Don’t even mention it.” We chatted for a few more minutes, until the baby started wailing to be fed. Tate was a totally hands-on dad, but he couldn’t exactly produce breastmilk.
“We’re visiting Tate and April this weekend. I’m going to take her out of the house with just the baby so she can regain some of her sanity,” I said as he switched from rubbing my right foot to my left.
“Sounds good. Maybe we can get out as well. Take the girls to the park if the weather isn’t bad.” One thing I did know about kids, mine were going to have the most wonderful father. I’d seen him in action plenty of times and it almost made me want to stop taking my pills and make ginger babies with him. I hoped our kids got his hair. And his chin dimple. And his personality. I definitely didn’t want them to get my neurotic tendencies. Or my height.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked and I realized I’d been caught thinking about babies. Good thing he couldn’t read my thoughts.
“Your penis,” I said, because that would distract him from whatever he was currently assuming I was thinking about.
“Oh really? Do you want to cuddle it?”
“I want to cuddle it so hard,” I said, sitting up and leaning toward him. “What do you think about that?”
He pretended to think about that for a moment.
“I think I’m going to need a demonstration.” Before I knew what was happening, I was thrown over his shoulder and he was taking me to the bedroom for some quality cock-cuddling time.
~*~*~
I had a dream that night that I was pregnant. My belly was round and I waddled when I walked. And I was unbelievably happy. When I woke the next morning, I felt a little pang of sadness that the dream hadn’t been real.
I shook it off and leaned over to kiss Lucah.
“Good morning. Coffee? Not the naked kind. The kind that you drink from a cup.” My mind went to a seriously dirty place, but I decided to let it go.
“Coffee would be great,” I said, my voice rough from sleep. While he was gone and making coffee, I lay on my back and stared up at the ceiling.