What the hell was with all this baby stuff? I did some mental calculations and realized that I was due to start my period in a week. PMS. That would explain it. Glad I could blame the baby fever on something other than the fact that I wanted babies, I shoved my feet out from under the covers and stood up. My head spun a little bit and then I stumbled to the shower. Lucah joined me a few minutes later. It was just easier for us to shower together. To conserve water and all that.
When we got out, he had coffee waiting and made a quick breakfast of scrambled eggs on toast. I drenched mine in ketchup while Lucah made faces and gagging noises.
“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it.” Lucah had an aversion to ketchup for some reason. I was at a lost to understand it.
“I’m sorry, but that is something you’ll never get me to do,” he said, munching on his sandwich.
“What if I told you no more blowjobs until you eat eggs with ketchup?” His eyes widened and then he grabbed the bottle of ketchup I kept out because I always used a ton, and dumped nearly half of the contents on his sandwich before cramming the entire thing in his mouth.
“Well now,” I said as he grinned at me, his cheeks puffed out with all the food in his mouth. Like a sexy chin-dimpled chipmunk.
“You really will do anything for a blow job,” I said and he nodded vigorously as he chewed. Like a gentleman, he didn’t speak until after he swallowed.
“You know me so well, Sunshine.” I did. I knew what got him going.
“Well, of course. It’s my job. You were my assistant,” I said with a wink. I loved reminding him of the fact that he worked under me. Over me. Behind me…
“And it’s my job,” he said, licking some excess ketchup from his lips, “to make you deliriously happy.”
“Mission accomplished,” I said, squirting more ketchup on my sandwich.
~*~*~
Fortunately, I wasn’t haunted by any more baby dreams for the rest of the week. Before we headed out to see April and the girls, Lucah and I stopped at the best candy store ever to get them a few things.
“Remember when you brought me with you the first time? I was seriously freaking out. You have no idea how scared I was that they were going to hate me,” I said as we filled a bag with jellybeans. We’d gone totally overboard that day and it had resulted in the girls going into fits when they saw all the candy, then going nuts on all the sugar and then crashing later. Still, the candy and the fact that I wore pretty shoes and would play princess with them cemented their adoration for me. If I brought them a pony, they’d probably love me for life.
“I knew you were going to be fine. What’s not to love about you? Especially for a little girl. You have pretty hair and pretty clothes and a wonderful smile.” One of the things I loved about Lucah’s compliments was that they were so genuine. He never gave them just to blow smoke up someone’s ass, or to get something from them. He didn’t say something if he didn’t mean it.
“Well, I can’t compete with Unkie Lu,” I said, bumping him with my shoulder. He rolled his eyes at the nickname the girls had for him. It cracked me up every single time I hear them use it.
“Yeah, well, you’re going to be Auntie Roar, so there.” God, I guess I was. They knew I was marrying Lucah, but their little brains couldn’t quite understand the concept quite yet—beyond the fact that I visited a lot, bought them things and let them wear my shoes. If I was a little girl, that would be pretty awesome. I remembered when I was little and sneaking into my mother’s closet and hiding among the Chanel and Dior and Dolce. It was no wonder I grew up with a heart for fashion. Even if my mother was more on the conservative side than I was.
“Auntie Roar. I kind of like that,” I said, throwing a bag of marshmallows in the basket Lucah was holding.
“Me too,” he said, growling and pretending to claw me. A few other people in the shop stared, but I just ignored them. Lucah and I were regularly dorks in public.
When we got to the house, there was mass chaos. Tate and April’s lovely house was usually covered in kid things, but this looked like a child-sized tornado had gone through. Twice.
You could barely see the floor through the covering of shoes and clothes and burp cloths and diapers. The house wasn’t dirty, it was just messy. We caught April as she was coming downstairs with the baby.
“Oh my God, adults!” she whisper yelled. In explanation, she pointed to the sleeping baby.
“I finally got her down, so I don’t want to make any sudden movements or noises.” As if they’d been waiting, the other two girls ran screaming through the living room, chased by their dad. He had a diaper on his head and was crouched down with his fingers curled up in claws.
April froze and we all waited, but Lola stayed asleep.
“Tate!” April said in the same whisper voice. He looked up from the game and his eyes went wide.
“I’m so sorry,” he said back in a low voice. The girls were hiding behind the couch giggling, pleased that they’d found a suitable hiding spot.
“I swear to God, if you wake her up, I will divorce you,” April said, pointing her finger at him. He took the diaper off his head and put one hand up in surrender.
“Sorry. I’ll take them out in the backyard.”
“Yeah, you do that,” she snapped, rolling her eyes. Tate and April had a very loving relationship, but it was definitely strained right now between caring for three children, him working and extreme sleep deprivation.
I gave her what I hoped was a sympathetic smile and Lucah said that he was going to go out back with Tate, taking the bags of candy with him. April came the rest of the way down the stairs, floated over to the couch and sat down in slow motion. When she got into a comfortable position and the baby was still sacked out on her shoulder, she exhaled and smiled. There were dark circles under her eyes, stains all over her shirt and her hair was clumped in certain places. She was still gorgeous, just a little grungy. I wished I could send her to the spa and watch the baby for her, but my breasts didn’t produce milk, so that option was out.