“I’m not assuming,” I interrupt, watching his face for a reaction. “I asked her.”
He keeps his poker face steady.
“If she even remembers you threatening her, you couldn’t tell. She wasn’t afraid you would seek retribution. She just didn’t want to hurt you. She wants you to be happy because she cares about you. And she likes you, I can tell, she just doesn’t think you actually like her so she doesn’t think it’s an option.”
“When did you talk to her? Where?”
“Today. At her house. I went over to ask Vince to help me move some heavy stuff at the bakery after I closed up, but he had to work. I had Mia alone and I was curious, so…”
“You talked to her at her house.”
I nod, watching him. “In her living room. On her couch.”
“Okay,” he says, simply. Then, with a nod toward the door, he says, “Lovely meeting, as always.”
“You don’t want to know what she said?” I ask, lifting a suspicious eyebrow.
“Nope. If I think of any burning questions, I’ll ask later,” he says dryly, pushing up out of his seat and brusquely escorting me to the door.
I can’t help smiling as he kicks me out, even though my back’s to him and he can’t see it. “You have surveillance on her house, don’t you?”
He doesn’t answer, merely opens the door and waits for me to leave.
I shake my head at him. “Enjoy the show.”
—
Once I’ve exhausted every distraction, I have to think about my own problem again. It’s a really big one. I don’t want to deal with it. I don’t want to choose. I may not always love the family I was born to, but that doesn’t mean I can betray them.
Which means betraying Sal instead, and I can’t get behind that either.
I can’t even decide if I want to visit him tonight. I was planning on it before I alerted Mateo to my conversation with Mia, but now I feel like I should stick around here in case he does come looking for me after he’s done processing our conversation. Also I really don’t want to get in another fight with Sal over our families and it feels inevitable.
Turns out I don’t have to come to a decision, though. Sal does. I pop into my bathroom to check my messages. Sal and I haven’t talked at all today, and we never go a full day without talking.
“I need to see you right away.”
I hesitate for a minute before I send back, “I don’t know if I can get away tonight.”
“We have to talk. It can’t wait. If you can’t get away tonight, I need to see you tomorrow morning.”
I can’t agree to that either since I’m not leaving the bakery to sneak out anymore. Instead of agreeing to anything, I send back, “Is everything okay?”
“No,” he replies, simply.
My heart stalls as it occurs to me this might not be about whatever is going on with him and my brother—it might be about what’s going on between us. Spending a little more time together while Meg has kept Mateo out of the way has been nice, but maybe not nice enough.
What if he’s giving up on me? What if this is that kind of “we need to talk”?
I still don’t want to go, but now I have to. I tell him I’ll be over as soon as I can, and then my anxiety doubles because he doesn’t text further. Nothing cute, nothing sweet, nothing sexy. Not so much as a “can’t wait to see you.”
By the time I get to Salvatore’s front door, I’m convinced he’s going to break up with me. I’m not even considering all the ways that could be bad—maybe it’s less about him not liking me anymore and more about whatever is happening with our families. Maybe he’s just picking his side. Maybe they have something planned that’s going to sever any chance of our families ever coexisting again, and now he’s realizing he can’t keep me and also serve his family.
When he pulls open the door, I only need to see his carriage for those doubts to solidify. Instead of warmth and confidence, he’s reserved and stressed out. He doesn’t even lean in to kiss me, just offers a ghost of a smile and takes a step back to let me inside.
A dam of desperation bursts open inside me. I can’t lose Sal. I can’t. He’s the brightest spot in my stressful life, the only person who’s ever loved me back. He cares about people, me maybe most of all. I don’t want to add to his stress, but I’m not doing it on purpose. The problem is literally who I am. I can’t change that.
Before I even realize what I’m doing, an old habit kicks in. When it feels like they’re moving away from you, you redouble your efforts to win them back over. It never worked before, quite the opposite, in fact, but my brain convinces me it’ll be more effective with Sal.