So I attack him with my mouth. He hasn’t even had a chance to speak yet and he doesn’t expect it, so he stumbles back a step, but stabilizes and kisses me back. His strong hand comes to rest supportively on the small of my back and he pulls me close, refilling my stores of hope. I haven’t been taking good enough care of him. Of us. My circumstances and the secrecy of our relationship have put a strain on things like we knew it would, but I’m not giving him as much back as he’s given me. I have to do better.
Right now I want to give in the least subtle way possible. I drag my hands down his chest and let one wander between his legs, rubbing until he’s hard against my palm.
“Francesca…”
I cut him off, kissing him again as my hand undoes his jeans. I’m not going to let him talk. If he can’t talk, he can’t dump me. That’s perfect logic, and no one can tell me otherwise.
I slide my hand down the front of his jeans and work them down past his hips.
He pulls back from the kiss, smiling faintly. “This isn’t why I called you over.”
I ignore him, leaning in to kiss his neck as my fingers close around his cock. “I want you.”
He groans, his fingers biting into my back as pulls me against him. “We need to talk,” he states.
“We can talk later,” I tell him, dragging my teeth across his skin, then gently kissing to make up for it. “Don’t you want me?”
“Of course I do,” he murmurs, even if he sounds a little reluctant. His hands move to my shoulders, gently pushing me back.
I frown at him, crossing my arms, more than a little dejected.
He pulls his jeans back up and zips them, adjusting and murmuring, “Well, that’s not comfortable.”
“I wanted to help with that, but you stopped me,” I pointed out.
“Wouldn’t be right,” he mutters.
My stomach sinks. There it is. Verification. He’s going to dump me.
Goddamn it.
Before he can, I swallow and summon words. “Why?”
“Because we need to talk, and I’m not entirely sure you’re going to want to have sex with me by the end of it.”
“You’re finally dumping me.”
Now he frowns, rearing back a little like it never even occurred to him I might think that. “What? No, of course not. Why would you think that?” Realizing my stance is still closed off and defensive, he forces himself out of business mode and takes my hand, tugging me over to the couch. I follow him, but every guard I possess seems to be up around me right now and I can’t call them off.
Still, I sit down on the couch next to him. I’m still scowling at him, but I let him pull me into his arms and place a little kiss on top of my head. “Sorry, I should’ve thought… No, actually, I can’t believe you even thought that.”
“Well, you seemed withdrawn, you said we needed to talk, and you didn’t want to have sex with me.”
He nods, now seeing what I saw. “You’re right. That’s fair. My bad. No, I am most certainly not dumping you. You can stop looking at me like I am,” he suggests, directing a playful smile my way, trying to thaw me.
I try. I really do. But it takes a couple minutes. Mateo isn’t the only defensive asshole with abandonment issues in this goddamn family, he’s just the most aggressively successful at letting them fuck up his life.
But Sal is patient and perfect and wonderful, so he waits me out. Clearly he has something pressing to talk to me about, but he puts it on the shelf so he can reassure me and relax my defenses.
“You good now?” Sal finally asks, watching me.
I nod. I’m still a little touchy, but I just want to know what it is he wants to talk about that’s so urgent. Mostly I want to know if there’s any crossover between that and what I’ve been stressing over.
“All right.” He eases back, his face making me think he’s not looking forward to this. “I shouldn’t tell you any of this, and I hope it goes without saying you cannot tell your brother or anyone in your family, but just in case it doesn’t, you cannot tell anyone.”
Nerves tumble around my stomach like tennis shoes in a dryer. I can hear my own heart thumping in my chest, and suddenly I’m afraid for him to tell me. I don’t want to have knowledge that I have to keep secret from my family. I don’t want to double cross anybody. I don’t want to be involved.
But I already am involved.
Because I had to have the stupid fucking luck to fall for the last person in the world I was supposed to fall for.