Hold on to Hope

That maybe their connection and bond was so great she could keep him bound here in this world for longer. That all those silly games they’d played as kids, ones where they got married and played house and had ten kids might actually be in their future.

Something meant for him.

Evan realized he’d never really even contemplated it before then.

It’d just felt natural.

Like it was the most logical progression they would take as they grew up and got older and just kept living for each other because he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

Maybe that’d started to dwindle a bit when he’d hit about twelve or thirteen.

When the illusion had begun to fade and reality had started to infiltrate his consciousness.

It’d finally hit him like a sledgehammer this morning when the doctor had cracked some joke about him betting that Evan was a ladies’ man before his expression had gone grim, like he’d been trying to lighten the mood before he’d dragged Evan into a darkness he hadn’t been prepared to walk.

His doctor had carefully explained what his genetic defects actually meant.

Of course, Evan had known he’d inherited his bad heart and deafness from his biological father’s side of the family. Knew fragments of the messed-up story about how his aunt had died from cardiac failure when she was in her twenties without anyone knowing she was even sick.

How Kale had said thank God Evan’s had been discovered early.

That he was lucky.

For years, Evan had heard the murmurs and the rumors and secrets his mom and dad had whispered to each other when they’d been protecting him so fiercely and trying to offer him the most normal life that they could.

He’d just never fully put two and two together.

Not until the doctor was telling him he had to take every precaution, especially now that he was older. How the man had told him it didn’t matter if he had a girlfriend yet or not, he wanted him to start carrying condoms around wherever he went. He’d gone as far to suggest that if Evan could handle it, it would be best for him to just abstain like some kind of fucking monk without a voice.

How he was a carrier.

A disease.

A fucking threat to family and society.

Evan finally realized in that moment that his life was never fucking going to be normal because he wasn’t normal. Didn’t matter how badly everyone around him wanted to pretend that he was.

Case in point: Frankie Leigh.

Fucking Frankie Leigh who was dancing around the campfire like the wild child that she was, her brown hair nothing but gold streaks and flames, wearing one of her ridiculous pink tutu skirts and these godawful socks and her pink Chucks that were getting covered in soot and ash.

She didn’t care.

All she cared about was soaring.

Flying.

His unicorn girl.

Their families were laughing as they told stories by the fire where they camped out in their favorite spot by the lake. Same place they’d been coming for years.

Same place they would probably still be coming long after he was gone.

The moon was high, and he was still itching from what Frankie had said up at the falls earlier this afternoon, still itching from his checkup with his doctor.

Unable to handle it for a second longer, he stood and slipped away into the darkness. His mom cast him one worried glance as he headed for the woods.

He smiled a big smile for her, wishing it felt as real as it used to. Last thing he wanted was to hurt her. To cause her more worry than she’d already had.

Evan started to climb the narrow trail, the one that weaved up the back way to the cliffs, though it sat farther back where the smoothed rocks met the trees in a tapestry of landscapes.

Nothing but peace and serenity.

Where he could sense the sounds and the rustles and the vibrations rushing over his skin. He sank down on a patch of leaves and turned his face to the night.

Stared up at the stars written in the sky.

A history that went on for eternity.

He felt the shiver of energy break through the perimeter of the trees.

He didn’t even have to look that way to know it was her.

She was always like a burst of light.

He released a heavy sigh. Wasn’t sure if he could handle her right then.

Evan glanced her way, signed with his elbows still rested on his knees. YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO CAMP.

She rolled her eyes like his request was ridiculous and kept coming closer. He tried to hold his breath when he felt her aura swirl around him like a cotton candy breeze.

DON’T WANT TO. She plopped down at his side. WHY ARE YOU BEIN’ SUCH A BUTTHOLE TODAY, ANYWAY? DID YOU EAT A WHOLE BAG OF SOUR CANDY? YOU’RE MAKING THAT FACE.