Tumble (Dogwood Lane 1)

“Are you going to miss this when you leave?” He doesn’t look at me when he says it. His gaze remains focused on the lake in front of us. There’s something about the way he asks the question that makes me think it’s less about if I’ll miss things and more about whether I am really leaving.

I take a couple of steps ahead of him so he can’t see my face. “Yes. I’ll miss this.” I force a swallow. “I had an interview today.” When he doesn’t respond after a few seconds, I look over my shoulder.

He’s standing still, his hands stuffed in his pockets, his face sober. It makes my heart twist.

“How’d it go?” he asks carefully.

“Good, I think. It’s a few notches down the totem pole from where I was, but there’s a lot of room to move and grow there.”

“Can I ask why you’re looking for a new job?”

I blow out a hasty breath. “To keep it simple, I was passed over for a promotion that was mine. I hate when people say that, but it really was. My bosses created a whole new department based on my idea, and they didn’t give me an opportunity to get in there and see it come to fruition. So I quit.”

He gauges my reaction before reacting himself. Finally, he chuckles. “I’m not surprised.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because. Look at you. You’re . . .” His voice trails off and is replaced with a laugh. “You’re a woman who knows what she wants, and you go get it. You’re strong, Neely. You’re smart. You trust your gut and don’t let anything get you off track. Hell, you were leaving Dogwood Lane before I slept with Katie. Before you hated me. I respected the hell out of that then, and I respect the hell out of you now for this.”

I gulp, not sure what to say.

His features soften. “You’re what I want Mia to be.”

My lips part. I can barely make him out through the tears in my eyes. “That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” I feel like a baby. I turn away so he doesn’t see me dabbing my eyes with the end of my shirt. Just as I’m bringing the fabric to my face, a set of strong arms wraps around me from behind.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he mutters against the back of my head. “But fuck it if I can help it.”

There’s no stopping myself from relaxing into him. It’s comfort at its best. My body fills with a tingling warmth that I would harness and keep forever if I could. I close my eyes, breathe Dane in, and appreciate the moment where nothing matters but this.

“I’ve tried to avoid this with you,” I tell him.

“Yeah. Me too.” He rests his chin on the top of my head. “But for what it’s worth, you didn’t put up too much of a fight.”

My chest shakes as I laugh. “Yeah, well, what can I say? I’m a sucker for pain.”

He twists me around in his arms. A hint of perspiration dots his forehead as he watches me with a cautious glance. “I don’t want there to be any more pain between us. I know you’re leaving. I got that. I’m aware. But I’d like to enjoy however long you’re here, if we can. If that’s okay?”

My brain buzzes with confusion and excitement. Alarms also buzz in my ears, warning me that the potential to get destroyed is very real. If this were a business decision, I’d take some time to ponder it. But it’s not. It’s Dane. “I’d like that too.”

He takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the bluff. The colors are fading, the sun barely bridged over the horizon.

“I was afraid of your reaction to Mia,” he admits. “I didn’t know if you knew she was my child or if you’d dislike her on principle.”

I force a swallow, trying to shove the guilt of my feelings on this topic back down. It doesn’t work. My throat constricts instead.

“I spent a lot of nights hating the idea of her.” My head whips to his as I lay this out there, knowing I can’t take it back. “I would just lie in my bed in the dorm or in my apartment and think how her life ended a part of mine.” I look at the ground. “That makes me sound terrible.”

“I don’t blame you for feeling that way.” He takes my hand again and gives it a squeeze. “It’s true in a way. If I hadn’t gotten Katie pregnant, who knows what would’ve happened? But that being said,” he says, lifting my chin so I’m looking him in the eye, “I wouldn’t change it. I know that sounds like a dick thing to say to you of all people, but I can’t imagine my life without that little girl.”