Tumble (Dogwood Lane 1)
Page 58
His words hurt a part of me that wishes he and I had been able to experience something like having a child together. But the longer I look in his eyes, the longer I really think about it, the wound sort of fills.
He was made to be Mia’s dad. Knowing them together now, I can’t imagine him without her or her without him. It’s a weird thing to consider, especially knowing how much I’d wished she didn’t exist for so long, but it’s still true.
“I can’t imagine your life without her either. And I feel terrible for having felt that way.”
“I’m not judging you for anything, Neely. I’ve seen you with her, knowing who she is. She adores you. You’ve been nothing but kind to her. Besides,” he says, “although it’s not really the same, I spent a lot of years hating gymnastics. That’s what took you away from me.”
“Yeah, well, I spent some time hating it too. Competitions are tough on the brain and body.”
He takes a step back, biting his lip. “Well, from where I stand, your body looks like it fared just fine.”
“Thank you.” I try to be serious but end up laughing. “I think you’ve been spending too much time with Penn.”
“That was a Penn-like thing to say.” He cringes. “What’s happening to me?”
“I don’t know but you better watch it. You’ll ruin your reputation.”
“I don’t think I have a reputation.” He seems to consider this. “I think I’m just Mia’s dad. I’ve lost all parts of Dane the Person.”
I saunter toward him and fight a smile. “Is that so?”
He reaches for me, digging his fingers in my hips. I gasp as he drags me into his chest.
“I take that back,” he says, his eyes burning a hole in me. “I still have some parts.”
If he weren’t holding me, I think I might fall to the ground. My legs wobble. My hands tremble as I bring them to his face and cup his cheeks. I hesitate, not sure if I should back away or go forward, but the choice is made when he squeezes my hips again.
“I’m not sure I believe you,” I whisper.
“Let me show you.”
His lips fall to mine in a lazy, unhurried way. They brush over my mouth, capturing the moan that emits from my throat.
As if on autopilot, my lips part, and he wastes no time licking through the inside of my mouth. My knees buckle. My blood goes so hot I think I’m going to pass out.
He brushes a hand up my spine. His fingers work through my hair, touching me as if his life depends on it.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can only absorb the growing intensity of his soft lips and firm hands. When I begin to shudder under his touch, he breaks the kiss.
His eyes are wild, his breath panting, as he searches my eyes. I want to lift his shirt over his head. My fingers itch to dance across his bare skin and feel him against me. But as I’m assessing the potential pleasure versus pain in this situation, he takes a step back.
“We have two choices,” he says, still catching his breath.
I shake my head. “No. We only have one.”
My shoulders fall, my bottom lip trembling, because as much as I want this with him, I can’t have it. There’s no reason to continue this. It’ll only make everything harder. He isn’t just a one-night stand, even though I suck at those too. He’s Dane. He’s the only guy I’ve ever considered being with for a very long time. He’s the only man with whom I have a hard time forgetting the way it is.
He nods, bowing his head. “We better get out of here then.”
“Yeah. I think so.”
He opens my door and I climb in. He gives me a long, sorrowful look that cuts me to the core before shutting the door.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
NEELY
Where’s Mia tonight, anyway?” I ask as the truck hits a dirt road.
“She’s staying with Madison and Keyarah. They were all supposed to stay at our house, but their mom offered to take them to a movie and I got out of it.”
“I see.”
The sky is dark, trees thick on either side of the road. The only light comes from the headlights shining down the country road. I settle against the seat and try to let the sound of the engine’s purr relax me.
I would have no problem reaching over and taking Dane’s hand. I’d not even have a problem leaning over the console and planting a kiss on his cheek. It would be the most natural thing in the world.
Whoever said to do what’s right, not what’s easy, is an asshole. Right, but an asshole anyway.
“Hey,” I say, leaning forward. A security light shines up ahead a good way off the road. “Is that Malone’s Farm?”