“You’re a better man than me,” Hunter said.
“That’s not true,” Grace said, clearly not liking Hunter putting himself down. She turned to me. “But most men wouldn’t want to help the people who’d brought so pain to them.”
“I’m not most men, I guess.”
“The Raven men are in a class all their own.” Grace stood. “Shall we get to the office so Ash can go have a playdate with his daughter?”
Hunter stood. “Absolutely.”
When they left, I did feel better and wondered how Grace had done that. No wonder Hunter was calmer these days.
I texted Beth, asking if I could see Hannah.
Yes. When and where? Her response was so quick, I wondered if she’d been waiting for me to contact her.
Does she like the park?
There was so much I didn’t know about my daughter and it made me feel guilty, even though my lack of knowledge wasn’t my fault.
She loves the park. We can meet you at the Balto statue.
I wasn’t sure where that was but knew I could find it on a map. I texted that I’d be there in an hour. There was a slightly longer delay, but then a text came in.
I told her about you, Ash. She’s very excited to know her daddy.
My heart swelled and the emotions forced me to sit down. She knew I was her father and was happy about it. I felt tears well in my eyes. It seemed amazing that a child could cause such intense emotion.
Finally, I texted back.
I’m very excited to know my daughter.
An hour later, I stood by the Balto statue feeling nervous and excited. I kept Grace’s words in my head about being patient and not overwhelming her. She didn’t know me.
“There he is, Mommy!” I heard. I snapped my head in that direction and saw Beth walking toward me holding Hannah’s hand. She was tugging on Beth’s hand and pointing at me.
I inhaled a deep breath, as once again emotion nearly brought me nearly to my knees. This was my daughter.
Hannah pulled her hand free and hurried toward me until she got about twenty feet from me. Then she slowed down and her expression turned nervous.
I started to panic. Was I doing something to scare her?
I squatted down to her level and tried to throw on an easy smile. “Hi, Hannah.”
“Hi.” She continued to walk toward me, but she was moving pretty slowly.
“It’s okay baby,” Beth said, keeping a few steps behind Hannah.
Finally, Hannah was close enough that I could hug her, but I didn’t.
“My mommy says you’re my daddy.”
I nodded until I could find words. “Yes. I can’t tell you how happy I was to learn about you.”
“You didn’t know? That’s why you were gone.”
“I didn’t know otherwise I’d have been there every day of your life. I’d have never missed any of it.” I glanced up at Beth, trying to keep my anger about that from showing on my face. I looked back at Hannah. “I’m going to try and make up for all I missed if you’ll let me.”
Hannah nodded as she reached out and pressed her little hands to my cheeks. “Can I call you Daddy?”
Good Christ, could my heart handle any more intensity of emotion? “I’d love it if you called me Daddy.”
She grinned and launched herself into my arms. I wrapped her up and made a silent vow to never let her go.
“Daddy?”
I choked back the tears that threatened at hearing her call me that. “Yes, honey.”
“Can we go to the zoo?”
“Anything you want.” I was going to give her the whole fucking world. I stood and clasped the little hand that she put in mine.
Beth wiped a tear from her cheek. “Well… you two look all settled. You can text me when you’re done.”
Wait, what? She was leaving me alone? “I’d prefer it if you’d stay. In case she needs something or misses you.”
Beth let out a shuddering breath. “I was so wrong.”
I frowned.
“Of course, you’d put her first. You’d think of her needs. I was wrong to be afraid you’d take her.”
Hell yeah.
She inhaled to gather herself. “I’d be happy to tag along.”
“Yay!” Hannah cheered next to me.
As we walked toward the zoo, I leaned closer to Beth. “There is one thing I ask… that I demand.”
Beth stiffened. “What’s that?”
“She takes my name.”
28
Beth – Monday
Ash’s demand was a reminder to me that I was letting old fears impact my judgment of him. All morning, I’d been worrying that he’d leave again. It would be one thing to abandon me, but to leave Hannah would be unthinkable. But Ash was on time to our meeting, and was now insisting on being a father, not just with his attention, but legally as well. I needed to do better at recognizing what a wonderful man he was. I needed to be better in who I was.