I flinched, not because of what she said but because she called me by his name. Damn it, brother, what did you do? I wanted to defend myself by telling her exactly what I thought of a man who would bring another woman into their bed. What the hell?
“She,” I repeated, because I wasn’t sure what else to say and my head was pounding.
Izzy bit on her bottom lip, turning it white. “She, as in, the maid. I know you seem to get all of your affairs confused, and the head wound probably isn’t helping, but our maid. In our bed. You promised. I wish—” Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head at me. “I wish—”
“Say it.” My voice was calm as I locked eyes on her. “What do you wish?”
“That’s not a luxury I’ve been given, and you know it,” she finally said after I watched one of the saddest things I’d ever seen happen right before my eyes. She took a deep breath, straightened her shoulders, and just disappeared, not into thin air, but into herself. I could almost see the cocoon of money and control wrap around her while she answered me with a fake voice, fake smile, fake posture.
I gripped the edges of the tub and moved to my knees, even though it hurt like hell, then crooked my finger at her.
She moved toward me obediently.
And in that moment, I must have lost every good part I had in me, because I wanted to put a pillow over my brother’s face until he woke up and explained to me what had possessed him to do to his fiancée exactly what our father had done to our mom.
He used to cry himself to sleep at night when they fought.
And now? Now he was sleeping with the maid?
I had no leg to stand on. I wasn’t allowed to be Bridge anymore, was I? I had to explain Julian’s behavior the way Julian would, which wasn’t at all helpful since we hadn’t talked in years.
“Tell me something you want,” I finally said, reaching for her hand.
She let me take it. Her skin was so smooth I had a hard time focusing, and a really hard time not rubbing my thumb across its surface, so I gave in, because this was the part I was supposed to play.
But also because I suspected the last time she’d been given any sort of attention that wasn’t manipulative was when she’d been lucky enough not to know a Tennyson.
Her breath caught as she stared down at our joined hands. I told myself it was me, that I was causing that reaction, not Julian.
And I made a vow to her, even though she didn’t know it. I would give her the best few weeks of her life, days that would be filled with smiles, not control.
And then do the cruelest thing a man could do.
Turn her back over to the real Julian the minute he woke up. I told myself he’d listen to reason, I told myself that I could convince him to either let her go if she was that unhappy or love her the way she clearly deserved for sticking by his side so long.
“You can’t fix this with things, Julian.” She looked away.
“You have enough things,” I said simply. “Why don’t I give you something that you truly wish for, even if that means I don’t get to be a part of it.”
“How many drugs do they even have you on? You know you react badly to painkillers,” she said under her breath, a small smile touching her face. God, she was pretty.
I almost laughed. No drugs. Because my dad was a bastard, and also because I wanted to feel the pain, to let it remind me why I was doing this.
“Enough.” I winked. “I did almost die.”
“Yeah, almost.” She looked ashamed.
Interesting.
I was torn between apologizing profusely and doing what my brother would do. I had to find middle ground. I didn’t know the first thing about gifts for women who were scorned, but I did know my way around a kitchen.
She was still staring at me, like she was trying to figure me out, and I knew that Julian wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t smart. Shit, already I felt like an imposter, and she looked at me like I was.
“Dinner,” I finally said. “Why don’t I cook you dinner?”
Her frown was instant, so I knew I must have said the wrong thing, and then she smiled. It wasn’t the one I wanted, it didn’t light up the room. It was a smile of caution and constant disappointment. “You haven’t done that since college.”
“I think I can do better than Top Ramen,” I teased.
She pressed her lips together in a small smile. “I can’t believe you remember my love for Top Ramen. Sometimes I swear I still crave it at midnight.”