“Don’t you have classes in the morning?” I ask as we walk inside the dorm building and up the stairs.
“Yeah, so what?” she snaps.
“So what? You’re kidding, right? When you’re on a scholarship, grades shouldn’t be a back-burner subject.”
“Stop acting like you care,” she growls, and struggles to break free of my hold, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting her go, not until she’s tucked safely in her bed.
I try not to let what she’s said bother me, but all I can think about is what if something had happened to her. If she had gotten hurt thinking I really didn’t care. It’s an irrational thought, insane even, but I’m already bat shit crazy because of her.
Leaning into her, I inhale her sweet coconut scent letting it filter into my nose before saying, “If I didn’t care about you then why am I risking my ass right now to get you into your dorm?” Lily stops dead in her tracks. We’re almost to her room, but apparently, she doesn’t care.
Looking up at me, she grabs a fist full of my shirt and pulls me down into her face. If we were caught like this, it would cost me everything, and yet, I can’t seem to care right in that moment. My pulse thrums in my ears, and my eyes move over the bow of her kissable lips. Damn, do I want to devour those lips of hers.
Fuck me, I am so screwed.
“Because, you, Sebastian Miller, are stupid.” She releases me with a shove, and just like that, the bubble surrounding us pops.
“If you’re trying to insult me, it’s not working. Now give me your keys,” I order as we get closer to her door.
“Blah, blah, blah.” She mocks but does pull her keys out. They slip through her fingers, and drop to the floor at her feet, landing with a loud clank. Fucking Christ. Reaching down, I grab them and walk the rest of the way to her dorm.
“I hate you. I hate you, but I want you too, and I don’t understand it,” Lily murmurs into my side, her hands clutching on to my arm. Voices fill the hallway followed by doors slamming down the hall. My heart sinks into my stomach, as my fingers shake while I try and get the key into the keyhole. This is it. Was it worth it? You risked it all for her.
Miss. Shit. Heavy footfalls pound against the carpeted floor. People are coming right toward us. Fuck, fuck, fuck. With sweaty hands, I’m certain we’re caught, but then the key slips into the hole, and with a twist, and a step forward, we’re in the room, the door slammed closed behind us. Air fills my lungs for the first time since I entered the building.
Beads of sweat slip down my forehead as I gently maneuver Lily to her bed.
“All I ever wanted was someone to care. Someone to help ease the pain in my chest. Being with you, near you, it makes it easier for me to cope. It makes the pain manageable.”
“Lily,” I sigh, settling down onto the edge of the bed. With both of us in here, it seems smaller. Her big blue eyes peer up at me, and without really thinking about it, I brush a few of the sticky blonde strands from her heart-shaped face.
“Sebastian,” she says my name just like I did hers. Like a promise whispered in the middle of the night between two star-crossed lovers.
“I need you to stop doing this shit. Stop putting yourself in danger. One of these times, I won’t be here to rescue you, and then what? What happens then?” I can’t even think about something happening to her. Some stupid douchebag putting his hands on her. Her passing out and getting raped, or worse. “Do you want to get hurt? Is that it?”
The softest of smiles creeps onto her lips, and the need to pull up that tiny miniskirt and spank her ass consumes me. She needs to be taught a lesson, one that she’ll actually remember, and I’m seconds away from doing just that when she opens her mouth and starts to speak.
“I want to hurt because I deserve to suffer. I’m alive, and they’re all dead. All of them. They left me here….” Tears pool in her eyes, and my heart shreds into thin pieces at the sight. My stomach tightens, and I want to throw up. All the knives in the world could cut through my heart, and it would hurt less than it does right now, looking at Lily with regret, and tears in her eyes.
“They left me, Seb. I should be with them!” Her voice rises, and her clenched fists beat against the mattress. “I should have been in the car with them.”
“No. No, you shouldn’t.” I can’t help myself. Fuck the repercussions. Fuck everything. Tugging her toward me, I pull her into my arms, and she lets me, almost like she knows she needs me. My chest fills with an unknown emotion, and I squeeze her, wanting her to know I’ve got her without saying it.