“Don’t talk like that. Don’t act like your life is any less because you weren’t in the car that day. It’s not your fault, none of it is.” The fact that she thinks this, that she feels like she’s to blame, that she wishes she was in the car. It enrages me while only making me want her more. She needs me.
“I tried to end it… I tried to make it better.” My arms tighten around her on instinct. She tried to end it? I stare down at her, her eyes flutter closed, and I know she’s close to passing out, but I have to know what she’s talking about. I have to.
“What do you mean you tried to end it?” My hot breath fans against her cheek, and I cup one of her cheeks in my hand, sliding my thumb along her plump bottom lip while I wait for her to answer me. Those lips of hers part, releasing a soft breath, but words never follow. Instead, she passes out in my arms. My hand remains on her face for a long time while I do nothing more than hold her to my chest, wishing that things could be different.
Temptation is a bitch. To want and need for something you cannot have, even worse. It’s evident that Lily needs me, but how can I be there for her without crossing the line? How do I support her and care for her without giving in?
She wants me. I want her. All the rules say we shouldn’t be together. That we can’t. I’ve never wanted to say fuck you to the rules so badly. I look around her room, trying to look anywhere but at her face, even though that’s all I want to take in. Half of the room’s walls are covered with art. Drawings, paintings, and sketches, one more beautiful than the next. I knew she was here on an art scholarship, but I didn’t realize she was that good. I make a mental note to talk to her art teachers and see how we can help her get noticed.
When she starts to lightly snore, and I’ve held her in my arms much longer than I should’ve, I tuck her into bed and press a kiss to her forehead. A whimper passes her lips at the loss of my touch, but she snuggles into the pillow a moment later. It’s like I’m being pulled in two directions. The right one, and the one that my body wants me to give in to. Giving her one last glance, I slip out of her room, locking the door behind me.
Exhausted, and beat the fuck down, I walk out of the dorm trying my best not to draw attention. I’ve just reached the door, so close to escaping without a single soul seeing me when the door comes flying open, and a tiny woman comes rushing through it, her body slamming into mine without pause. My hands move on their own, grabbing onto her arms to steady her.
“Oh, my god. I’m so sorry.” The woman’s voice pierces my ears, and I realize then that I’ve heard that voice before. When she lifts her head, and her face comes into view, I damn near sigh in relief.
“Delilah?” Thank fuck, it’s not someone else.
“Mr. Miller?” She squeaks, shock filling her eyes. Instantly, I release her. She sways on her feet for a moment before standing up a little taller. “What are you doing here? It’s after midnight.” Fuck. I didn’t even think to look at the time before I left. I can’t imagine how bad this looks.
“Uh, yes, there was… there… there was an issue in the dorms. I was just clearing it up. Ummm, have a good night,” I lie, and watch as a smile creeps onto her face. If she knows I’m lying, she doesn’t say anything.
When I finally get outside, I all but run to my jeep, adrenaline coursing through my veins.
The lies are piling up.
The temptation is too great.
I’m going to end up snapping, breaking straight down the middle. The only question is, will it be worth it? Is Lily Kline worth giving up everything I’ve worked so hard for?
8
Lily
One week has passed since the night that I passed out in Sebastian’s arms. Delilah has asked me half a dozen times what happened that night, and even though I tell her nothing happened, she still doesn’t believe me. I guess it’s only a half-lie. Something happened that night, it’s called, I spilled all my stupid beans, but it’s not as juicy or fun as D is making it out to be.
“Come on, I have to go to class in ten minutes you could at least give me a little tiny piece of what happened? It’s not like I’m going to tell.”