Buck Me Cowboy

And I’m grateful. After everything that’s happened, what else do I have? I have to make the best of it because I’m a survivor, a fighter, a cowgirl who doesn’t give up. I’ve got to keep going past my husband’s betrayal … no matter what.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Maisie

Six months later …

“Colors,” I murmur to myself. “Colors, and whites, and bleach.”

My hands are busy, chafing and red from too much detergent, but that’s okay. I’ve never been a vain girl, and the work suits me well. Maybe it’s not farm chores anymore, but it’s honest work all the same, and I’m grateful to have it.

“Blues, greens, and a yellow,” are my refrain. “Plus a pink,” I mumble, sorting the laundry. This should be drudgery, but it’s not. I’ve got a room of my own, neat and small, and it’s a place to stay off the grid. Yep, I get paid in cash, so there’s no way for anyone to find me.

Plus, there’s plenty to eat, and that’s important because one morning after breakfast, I threw up for no reason, forehead flushed and palms clammy. What in the world? I’ve never thrown up before, at least not since childhood. So what was going on?

But the truth became evident. Sitting limply on my bed, my eyes stared blankly at the pregnancy test. Two vertical blue lines. I scrabbled with the test instructions again, re-reading the words on the box. Yep, two lines meant that I was pregnant, there was no doubt.

So now I have Tyler’s baby in me, making me even rounder and fuller, happy and sad at once, the mixed emotions a rollercoaster of fear and ecstasy. It’s crazy. I’m going to have the child of a man who betrayed me, who stole everything I have.

And yet, it doesn’t freak me out because I want it on some level. I want Tyler’s child, he or she was conceived in love, even if I didn’t know my true circumstances at the time. So I’m going to keep the baby, working hard to support us, despite our sad environment. Ma and Pa did right by me, and it’s the least I can do for my child.

Besides, not all my memories are bad. In fact, some of them are good, filled with a sense of wonder. Without Tyler my farm would’ve gone under, there’s no doubt about that in my mind. He worked so hard to help me fix up the place, and the heat between us was genuine for sure. Maybe mentally, we weren’t on the same plane, but physically, every day was a shower of sparks, electricity gone wild as my pussy pulsed again and again.

And every day I struggle with whether or not I should tell Tyler. I still haven’t gotten over his betrayal, not by a long shot. After all, I never once suspected that he could possibly be one of those Morgans. Sure, there was more to him than meets the eye, but not once did I think it was this bad.

So should I tell him? It’s his child after all. We parted on terrible terms, and the alpha doesn’t want me anymore, for sure. But a man like Tyler would want to know his child, he would never abandon a son or daughter.

So every day, I struggle here in Colorado. Loving Tyler and missing him, but still feeling hurt and betrayed by his deception. Every night leads to tears just like tonight as the confusion and despair pour out of my eyes slowly.

“Maisie!” I hear from outside my door and rush to dry my eyes before calling for Grace to enter.

“What you doing in here, baby girl?” she asks and I shake my head silently, a lump in my throat. If I speak, the waterworks will start back up, and I don’t want that.

Besides, Grace and I have become close friends during these six months, bound together by our sad circumstances. The older woman is almost like a second mother now, caring and comforting, helping to sustain me in my time of need.

But she doesn’t hold back this time, coming to sit next to me on the bed.

“Oh, Mais. I know you’re pregnant,” she says flat out, putting an arm around my shoulders, and I burst into tears at her acknowledgment.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry,” she repeats over and over while pulling me into her arms as she sits on the edge of my bed.

“You don’t know,” I murmur through the cries.

“Well, tell me,” she suggests.

And I do. I tell Grace everything. From me dropping out of school, to Pa dying, to the threat of foreclosure, and then all about Tyler and our whirlwind romance. She’s smiles knowingly when I describe the incredible attraction between us, and cheers when I describe our small but simple wedding.

But all the happiness seeps from her face once I get to the betrayal. Because Tyler was all lies, and now I’m having his child.