Buck Me Cowboy

“So he doesn’t know?” she says, voice firm, eyeing my baby bump.

“No, I haven’t spoken to him since I took off,” I say tearfully.

Maisie looks thoughtful.

“This is a long, sad story,” she says slowly. “But I have to ask. Do you still love him, Maisie? After all this, do you still feel for him in your heart?” Her eyes penetrate my soul, and I crumple again, so ashamed.

Because the answer is obvious. Of course I love Tyler. I’ve never stopped loving the enemy, even knowing that he betrayed me. Even after everything, my soul still longs for his.

So I confess my sins, unable to hold back.

“Yes,” the whisper comes, painful and broken. “Yes, I love him still. I know I shouldn’t but I do.”

“Oh sweetheart,” says Grace softly, taking me into her arms. “I’m so sorry, it’s gonna be okay.”

And my tears become full-on sobs then as I collapse into the arms of the older woman.

“I don’t know what to do,” I cry, burying my face into her shoulder.

She pauses for a moment.

“Well, first things first, you’re gonna pack up this little room and get your butt back to Kansas,” she stands and begins to throw my things in the duffle bag.

“Wait. What?” I raise my head in confusion, eyes red and puffy, tear stains on my cheeks. “What? I thought I just told you he betrayed me.”

But Grace can’t be stopped. Like a whirlwind, she goes into the bathroom, throwing toiletries into a plastic bag.

“Wait!” I squeal, my hands trying to stop hers. “Wait, wait, what are you doing?”

Grace turns to me then, expression firm.

“Maisie, you are a pregnant woman. Not just that, but you’re in love with the baby’s father to boot. It does no good to spend any more time in this cramped hotel room. Besides, that farmhouse is yours; it’s what your father wanted, and you can’t just give it up without a fight. Now, get that backpack, I’m taking you to the bus station,” she orders.

“B-but,” comes my stammer. “But what about everything else?”

But Grace won’t be deterred.

“Girl, you’ve been hiding. You were scared and frightened, so it’s okay. But you can’t do this forever. You’ve gotta go back. That farm’s still yours, who says they took it away? Who says that they’ve already sold it? That’s your property, and you can’t give it up just like that.”

Really? I’d been so upset and confused that I left in a whirlwind, not stopping to think things through. When I married, did the property automatically became Tyler’s? But that can’t be true, right? Just because I’m married doesn’t mean he gets it. Or at least we have to split it in two. Right? I shake my head, utterly confused.

But Grace isn’t giving me time to think.

“No ifs, ands, and buts,” she says firmly, zipping up my duffel with a flourish. “You need to show up and settle everything. You can’t hide from your problems forever.”

“But,” I gasp, hands running protectively over my belly. “I can’t! I’m pregnant!”

“You can,” she says firmly, handing me the bag. “Honey, if there’s one thing that I know, it’s that you can’t stay in the dark forever. There’s power by owning your problems, by tackling them head-on. And you’re a strong woman, you’ve run that farm by yourself before. Come on,” she declares, and with that, the front door’s open, the black of outside intimidating and ominous.

I follow dumbly, eyes wide with shock. Because Grace has a point. What am I doing in Colorado? Hiding out, for sure. I couldn’t stay at the farm, not after what happened.

But the Double H is also my birthright. I belong there, the fields are in my blood, the sun, sky, and the land stir my soul. So somehow, some way or another, I’ve got to make it work … and confronting Tyler is the first step.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Maisie

The ride back to Kansas is agonizingly long, maybe because I’m awake for this journey. A lethal combination of anger and pride fuels me on the thirteen-hour trip.

Grace has, as she explained it, “put a battery in my back,” and I’m determined to fight for my Pa’s farm. She convinced me there was no use in beating myself up about deserting the land and all that it represents. What’s important is that I do my best to try and win it back now.

Plus, I can’t deny my traitorous heart. There’s excitement in my gut, a swell of emotion that overtakes me whenever I think of my husband. Because maybe Tyler and I can work it out some way. Maybe we can make things happen, somehow or other.

But I shake my head fiercely, disgusted. He’s the enemy! scolds the voice in my head. You can’t work with a liar.

Besides, who am I kidding? The alpha’s long gone, and it was all a charade anyways. He was only using me and now that the cat’s out of the bag, there’s no use in pretending any longer.