It’s too stifling.
I take a huge step backward and wipe my tears with the heel of my hand.
“That man is not my father,” I tell her with a tremble in my voice. “Dad is the only man I’ll ever acknowledge as my father.”
“You’re lost and confused, Sage. You have no idea what you’re talking about and you’re letting that boy—your brother—get inside of your head!”
“So what?” I let out a pained laugh and tip my head back. “So what if he’s in my head? You know what was in my head before Mars? A stone wall, Mom. It crushed me every time you came close. Now, I finally have a slice of happiness with Mars, and I’ll be damned if you or anyone else is going to stop me from holding on to him.” My head is clear after the words stop flowing.
The stone wall is there but it’s covered in brilliant colors. This time, instead of bracing for impact—I marvel at the fact I feel at peace—even when everything is closing in on me. I feel at peace because even though I’m used to living in the cold spaces of my mother’s shadow, I refuse to live there anymore.
I refuse to bite my tongue.
I refuse to hide.
Mom’s face is red. It’s the kind of red that makes me wonder if she’s going to pop a blood vessel or something. She aims her index finger at me and says, “You won’t see him again. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure of it. I will not have my daughter screwing her own brother. Once you’ve gotten this sickness out of your system, we’ll bury this secret forever. Do you understand me, Sage?” Her face trembles with every word.
“No. I don’t understand you at all,” I tell her with a shrug.
“That’s fine. You’ll get the point soon enough.” Mom turns on her heel and leaves my room. Even though I’ve managed to stand up for myself, I still don’t feel victorious.
If anything, I feel like I’ve just waged a war.
A line has been drawn in the sand and I’ve picked my side, gladly.
I hear the front door slam shut downstairs then I hear Mom’s car peel away from the house. I don’t know where she’s going, and for the moment, I don’t care. I fall to my bed and find my phone.
I have to call Mars.
He answers on the first ring. Hearing his voice is like filling my lungs with fresh air.
“Sage.” My name tumbles from his lips and it’s full of relief. “What happened with your mom?”
“I tried to keep up the lie about me staying with a friend last night after I bolted from the party, but she didn’t buy it once she saw the hickeys. She knew I’d been with you. At that point, I couldn’t deny it and I didn’t want to.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I have to stop getting so carried away with you, but it’s hard.”
I shake my head against the phone and smile. The thought of his kisses makes my stomach flutter. “Don’t be sorry. I like when you get carried away with me.”
“There’s nothing I want more than for us to be together, but we have to be smart. Your mom and my dad…” I hear the hesitation in his voice. We both know he’s my dad too but I’ll never claim him. I don’t care what our DNA says.
“They’ll try to keep us apart,” I say.
“Yeah. We have to lay low. I don’t want anything taking me away from you. It would tear me apart, Sage.” His words send up red flags in my mind, and I remember the determined way Mom left the house after our big blowup.
“Mars.” I blink and focus on the chaotic world I was in the middle of painting before my mother knocked on the bedroom door.
“Yeah?”
“Before my mom left a few minutes ago, she said she’d do whatever she could to stop me from seeing you again.” My throat is thick and it’s hard to get my words out. “Just…be careful,” I say to him.
“I will. I promise.”
Downstairs I hear the front door open then close. My body stiffens. “I’ll call you back. I love you.”
“I love you too.” His words touch my heart. I wish I had wings right now, so we could fly away together.
I creep out of my room, careful not to step on any parts of the floor that creak. I don’t want to face Mom again but I will if I have to.
Heavy footsteps jog up the stairs and soon I see Dad’s mahogany hair come into view. He pauses on the step when he sees me. His lips curve into a sympathetic smile.
My entire body deflates with relief and the moment he’s at the top of the steps, I launch into his arms.