“Yeah, I’m sure he did. But I was also a constant reminder of Mom’s lie, of the fact that I was another man’s child who’d been foisted on him without him having any say in the matter. And those feelings took precedence. He wasn’t abusive, or neglectful, really. We just weren’t close anymore. I’d ceased being his little girl. He made sure I was safe and had what I needed, but we never had another father-daughter date. And when he’d take time out to do something fun like play video games, it was always with my sisters, not with me. Same for attending school functions.”
“And this is why your mother didn’t stand up for you when he wanted to marry you off to his friend’s son.”
“Yep.”
“And why you agreed.”
“For her sake, yeah. Daniel used to go for a week or more without speaking to her when he was at his most insecure, when he’d put her in a situation where she had to make a choice and she’d choose me—like attending my high school graduation instead of this ceremony that happened to be on the same night when he was getting Richmond’s business owner of the year award—and I’d see what that did to her.”
“That’s wrong.”
She shrugged, but not enough to push his arm off her shoulders. Almost all of the houses they passed had lights shining through curtained windows. Josh had never spent a lot of time in middle-class neighborhoods, with real people who lived real lives.
He wondered how many of the people inside those homes lived happy lives. And how many struggled.
In the house up on the hill where he’d grown up, a hill populated by rolling estates and family mansions, love hadn’t been a driving factor. Expectations. Appearances. Those had come first.
He’d fit in there. As long as he met his father’s expectations, he could do whatever else he wanted. Wasn’t required to be more than he was.
Would he trade it all for a year with a father like the young Daniel had been?
At the moment he thought so.
“But I also think I agreed to marry Keith to please Daniel. I guess maybe I hoped it would get me back into his good graces, that I’d be like the other two girls to him.”
“It didn’t happen.”
“Nope. Nothing is going to change who I am. Or what I signify to him.”
Josh chilled. Though she’d have no idea, her words hit a little too close to home. Was it true that nothing could change who she was? Or who he was?
Maybe the truth lay in her second statement. As far as Daniel was concerned, nothing was going to change what Dana signified to him.
He breathed a little easier.
“So you think that’s when your mother applied for the scholarship on your behalf?”
“Yeah. When she saw that I was still getting hurt by Daniel’s distance from me. And I also think that that’s why she doesn’t admit to having applied. Because then Daniel would know that she’d chosen to put an end to his ability to help his best friend out of a really tight spot, in order to tend to my future.”
“So, she kept another secret from him to do with you. The secret of applying for the scholarship.”
“That’s what I believe. But I don’t have any proof of that one.”
She was quiet then, as though considering her theory. Enjoying their walk, enjoying the chance to be close to her without doing any more than keeping her warm, Josh was happy to continue for as long as she needed.
“I’m my mother’s daughter, Josh, but I can’t make her mistakes.”
“If you’re smart, you’ll learn from them,” he said, thinking as much of his own mistakes as her mother’s.
“I’m pregnant, Josh.”
They were halfway up the street and took a couple of rapid steps. His arm fell away from her. He quit walking. She didn’t.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
DANA WAS A GOOD FIVE STEPS ahead of Josh before she realized she’d lost him. Stopping, she waited for him to catch up. And when he didn’t, she turned around to see if he’d left her completely.
He was where he’d been when she’d dropped her bombshell.
“I’m sorry,” she said, backtracking. “That just came out of the blue. I practiced a bunch of different speeches and didn’t use any of them. There was just no easy way to tell you. No way to make the news good, or even okay.”
He was looking at her mouth, as though trying to decipher her words. “I’ve had a few hours to process this whole thing,” she said, understanding that he was probably feeling as if he’d dropped into a black hole.