“He took to the rodeo circuit taking care of the livestock on the road,” Jay said.
“At least you had your mom with you,” she said. “That kind of change must have been hard.”
“It was.”
Silence grew between them and she realized that Jay wasn’t going to offer anything else. Good thing she had a million questions.
“What did your mom do for a career?” she asked.
“She was a bank manager,” Jay said.
“They make pretty good money, why did you have to live over the diner?” Alysse asked.
“Because she left us when I was eight. Had enough of the dusty, isolated ranch,” Jay said. “Dad had to mortgage the ranch when she left and by the time I was in high school he’d fallen behind on the payments.”
“That’s horrible. Why didn’t your mom take you with her?” Alysse asked. Jay’s childhood had been so different from hers. Her dad had owned a car dealership and made good money. He and her mom had doted on both her and Toby and they’d had a fairly good life.
“Who knows? She always said I was a handful and more like my dad than like her,” Jay responded.
“In what way?” she asked, trying to understand how a mom could leave behind her eight-year-old son. She tried to see the boy Jay must have been, but he was too much a man for that to happen. Any softness in him had been burned out long ago. He was a tough Marine through and through, and she saw the evidence with her own two eyes.
“Just rough, I guess. We hunted and took care of the ranch together. I was his little shadow. Everyone said so. I guess she thought I needed to be with him.”
Alysse hugged Jay close to her, trying to comfort the little boy who had been abandoned. But she knew that she couldn’t. That event had changed Jay. Could he ever trust, be with anyone?
She was beginning to wonder if she was fighting a losing battle where he was concerned. She knew she’d wanted to mend her broken heart but a part of her had hoped to find the keys to real happiness with Jay and she was beginning to believe that would never happen.
* * *
JAY LIKED THE FEEL of Alysse in his arms and knew that he was winning her over not by doing anything but simply by showing her parts of himself that he usually kept closed off. He hadn’t wanted her to see the lost little boy he’d been, but he knew that this time he had to do things differently.
It occurred to him that they were finally alone. Exactly what he’d wanted all day. He pulled her closer, skimming his hands down her back until he could cup her buttocks. He wanted her.
He felt his cock stir and wished they were really alone. He scanned the area, hoping for an isolated place that would allow them to be all but invisible. He wanted to carry her away from here and make love to her and reinforce the bonds that were already there between them. His caring was the first step to winning her back.
“You okay?” she asked. “I didn’t think I’d ever feel...sympathetic toward you, but all of that has changed. I want to know more about your past and more about the person you really are. Want to walk for a while and talk?”
No, he wanted to slowly strip the wet suit from her body and kiss her until they both forgot their names and where they were.
“I don’t see why the past should have anything to do with you and me,” he said.
“Well, maybe you left me before I left you...maybe the little boy you—”
“Stop. I don’t think that has anything to do with it. I don’t want to talk. I want to take you away from here and go someplace where we can make love and leave all the obvious differences behind us.”
“You’re running away again, Jay.”
He knew he was. He’d probably always run away from her. She made him uncomfortable in his own skin, but at the same time he couldn’t imagine not having her in his arms.
“I need more,” she stated.
“I know that,” he said. “Tell me about your upbringing. Where did you grow up?”
“Right here. Well, Oceanside, not San Clemente. My dad owned the local Chevy dealership and my mom did the books for him, even after they’d divorced. My brother and I got into the usual mischief but nothing too crazy. He went to UC Santa Barbara. I did one year at Berkeley before I flaked out and came home.”
“Berkeley? You must be pretty smart,” he said.
“Sort of. But I hated it. I came home and my dad said I’m not supporting you if you aren’t going to school and so I enrolled in cooking school. Found I really loved it.”