There was a certain comfort to the days but every night he woke in a cold sweat. Since that first night when he’d woken Alysse up, he’d managed to get out of bed and leave her sleeping.
Today was a Sunday and the bakery was closed and Jay was helping Alysse cater for her family at the volleyball tournament. He wasn’t looking forward to meeting Alysse’s mom given the way Toby had reacted toward him, but he wasn’t a coward and would do his best for Alysse.
“Thanks for coming today,” she said as they started unloading the trunk of her car.
“No problem,” he said, watching as she stacked items on her cooler with wheels. He was impressed at how well they all fit on there until he realized that she normally had to carry everything herself and she’d devised this method to move stuff quickly.
He felt ashamed at that. But set it aside. He was here now and he wanted to make up for the past, but that wasn’t enough. He’d realized that at Dana Point. She did need a man who was there. Not someone who was off fighting in a war halfway around the world. So, he factored into his decision that if he wanted a future with Alysse he couldn’t go back into the Corps.
She started to tow the cooler with all the stuff and he stepped around her, brushing her hand away and taking over control of the contraption.
The sun was warm and the crowds were heavy when they got to the beach. Alysse took her cell phone out of her pocket.
“I’m going to text my mom. She’s been here since six saving a spot for us,” she said.
“That’s early.”
“Well, she’s all about family events. She’d have gotten here at midnight if she’d had to,” Alysse said with a laugh.
Her phone vibrated and a minute later Alysse led the way to a large easy-up with a bamboo mat and a table under it. The woman waiting for them was tall and resembled Alysse. The two women hugged and Jay stood to the side.
“Mom, this is Jay. Jay, this is Candi, my mom.”
“Jay,” she said, holding out her hand. She wasn’t friendly and didn’t really smile at him, but that didn’t bother Jay. He expected that Alysse’s family would treat him coldly until he could prove that he had changed and wasn’t back in her life to hurt her all over again.
“Ma’am. Where do you want the food?” he asked Alysse.
She motioned to the table and he started unpacking stuff. He supposed if he were a different guy he would have made some kind of small talk, but that wasn’t his style and he knew it would sound forced if he attempted it.
He stayed to the side and watched as more of Alysse’s family arrived. They were all chattering away and he felt like an outsider.
“Hey,” Alysse said, slipping up beside him. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he almost hugged her back but felt as if too many people were watching them.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yes. Just a little outside of my comfort zone. When does the volleyball tournament start?” he asked.
She dropped her arm and stepped away from him. He felt like a cad but he thought it would be better if there were no public displays of affection while her mom was standing nearby with a disapproving look on her face.
“It’s already begun,” she said. “What’s up with the cold shoulder?”
“Your mom looks like she’s just waiting for an excuse to lay into me. And I don’t think you’d appreciate a scene with your family and friends here.”
“I wouldn’t, but then I don’t think she’d cause a scene,” Alysse said. “What’s this really about?”
“I’m not comfortable in crowds,” he said. “There are too many people here. I can’t relax like this.”
“You did okay the other night when we went surfing with everyone,” she reminded him.
“The beach wasn’t this crowded,” Jay said.
It was a hard situation to handle when there were this many people around. It wasn’t just the strangers on the beach; it was Alysse’s people under this tent. They were her community, her lifeblood and if he needed any proof that he and Alysse didn’t belong together, well, here it was.
Alysse enjoyed this crowd and eating and talking and holding the babies and playing with the younger kids. And all he wanted to do was find a place with a wall that he could have at his back. They were so different and yet he was coming to need that smile of hers and her calming presence in his life.
“I didn’t realize the crowds would make you edgy,” she said. “Maybe after you’ve been out of the Marines for a while that will change.”