Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2)

“Why?” she asks, her voice small and vulnerable.

“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “Maybe it’s because when I look at you I see myself: broken and lonely.” I let out a deep breath. “Stay the night and talk to me. Be broken and lonely with me.” I repeat the words to the song we heard on our way to her house the night of her birthday. I’ve heard the song several times since that night and every damn time my thoughts go straight to Giselle.

Thirteen

Giselle

I don’t even realize I’m crying until Killian swipes his thumb across my cheek. He presses the pad of his thumb to his lips and I’m almost positive he just tasted my tears.

Be broken and lonely with me.

Can I do that? Can I let him in? I practically threw myself at him to stop him from getting too close to me, and he refused to have sex with me. Is it possible Killian Blake is just as broken and lonely as I am? I can’t imagine what he’s been through to feel that way, but then again, most wouldn’t know what I’m going through. Suddenly, a flashback hits me hard from the night of my birthday. The drive home. I drank way too much, and Killian made sure I got home safely.

“Do you ever feel broken and lonely, Killian?”

“Every damn day.”

Unable to voice my answer, I nod once, and he nods back. Then, taking my hand, he leads me into his bedroom. He opens up a drawer and pulls a couple items out, handing me a shirt and boxers. “So you’re more comfortable.” He shrugs. “My bathroom is through that door.”

“Thank you,” I tell him. After changing out of my clothes and into his, I use the bathroom and wash my hands and face. This will be the first time since I was with Christian that I’m spending the night with a man. Even the men I’ve been with, I never spend the night. My rule is midnight. Many have offered more money for me to break that rule, but I’ve never once done it. It sounds stupid, but I never wanted to be that intimate with someone. It’s one thing to have sex with them, but it’s another to sleep and cuddle with them—to act like we’re something we’re not—something we’ll never be.

When I exit the bathroom, Killian is dressed in a pair of New York Brewers sweats and a plain white T-shirt. I take a moment to look around his room. The walls are a soft beige, and the furniture is a dark chocolate brown. The four-poster bed is huge and placed directly in the middle of the wall.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asks. “Water? Tea?”

“Water would be great.”

I stay standing in place as he walks out of the room. I can’t believe of all places to be, I’m standing in the bedroom of Killian Blake. It wasn’t too long ago the guy hated my guts—and the feeling was mutual. I guess the saying is true: there’s a thin line between love and hate. Not that this is love…Never mind, ignore that last thought. I’ve clearly had too much to drink. There’s a thick line—a very thick line—and we’re nowhere near crossing it.

“Giselle,” Killian calls out and I follow after him. I find him in the kitchen grabbing two waters out of the fridge. He hands me one and I take a long sip. After taking a drink of his own water, he walks out of the kitchen and into the living room, sitting down on the sofa.

I study him for a long beat, confused as to how I got here. How we got here. And not just in his home, but the two of us, comfortable enough with each other that I’m wearing his boxers. “I thought you hated me,” I blurt out. “Why am I here?”

“Come and sit with me. Let’s talk.” He pats the cushion, and reluctantly, I join him.

“Why do you work as an escort?” he asks again, getting straight to the point. We both know he already knows why, but he wants to hear it from me.

“When my dad left my mom, he stopped paying the bills. I took over, but as an intern I didn’t make enough. I applied for assistance for my sister for school, but on every application they included my father’s income. He didn’t make a lot, but he made too much for her to get financial aid. I couldn’t let Adrianna take out loans. She would graduate and be thousands of dollars in debt like me. One night while I was out with Christian, I overheard his friends talking about the escort service they use. After I caught him cheating on me, in a desperate act to make some quick money to pay for my sister’s semester of classes, I looked it up. I interviewed with Bianca and was hired.”