Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2)

“Bipolar is a brain disorder which can develop any time,” he begins. “Some people are born with the vulnerability to the disorder, which means they have a higher chance of eventually developing the disorder. In your mom’s case that’s probably what happened. She might’ve had the symptoms when she was younger, but nobody knew to pay attention to them.”

“Can my sister and I have this…vulnerability?”

“Some studies have shown it can run in families, but just because your mom has it doesn’t mean you will. It’s important for you to pay attention to the symptoms we’ve discussed, and if you feel you’re experiencing them, see a counselor immediately. Bipolar Disorder isn’t a death sentence. You saw your mom today. She is doing well. The key is to monitor her and teach her how to live with the disorder. Many people with Bipolar live a normal life.”

A normal life. My mind goes to all the years my father tried to love my mom but couldn’t handle it. To the years my sister and I practically raised ourselves. Nothing was normal about any of that. I know it was before she got help, but who’s to say once she gets out we’ll ever have a normal relationship with our mom. The medications are working for now, but what happens when they don’t? Yes, this facility is one of the best, but like the doctors said, it’s all trial and error to find a way to manage the disorder.

“Thank you, Dr. Burns.”

After spending some time with Mom, we all say our goodbyes. Adrianna heads back to Boston, and Killian and I head back to his place. While he’s driving, I make the mistake of looking up my mom’s condition. Of course there are a million and one horror stories—from patients having a higher chance of suffering from substance abuse, to a higher risk of suicide. So even if my mom’s medication works and for the most part she’s okay, there’s still a chance of things going wrong. Just as I’m about to click on another page, my phone rings. It’s the realtor.

“I have some good news,” she tells me. “An offer has been put in for the house.”

“Oh, thank God.” My entire body relaxes.

“It was actually placed a few hours ago, but I had to type up the contract. It’s a cash offer and they have agreed to your asking price.”

“Really? They didn’t even try to counter?” Weird…I’m asking for what the going rate of the homes in the area are, but still…

“All you need to do is have your dad sign the papers, and since you have the power-of-attorney for your mom, you’ll need to sign them as well, and then we’ll get the deal done.”

Shit! My dad…I’m going to have to find him and get him to sign the damn papers.

“Giselle…that won’t be a problem, will it?”

“No, I just need to find my dad…”

We hang up and Killian glances over at me. “Your mom’s house?”

“It sold. A cash deal. This is perfect timing…” And then it hits me. The timing is too perfect. “I told Olivia today to move into her new house with Nick. You don’t think she bought the house, do you?”

Killian’s eyes flit back and forth between the road and me. “I don’t think she would do that,” he says.

“You’re right. She knows how upset I would be. Now I just need to find my dad.”

“I can have my brother search for him.”

“Thank you.”

“So what did you want to talk to the doctor about alone?” he asks.

“I asked him if Bipolar is genetic.”

“And?”

“It can be, and I’ve made a decision.” One that was cemented the minute I viewed all those posts online. When Killian doesn’t say anything, I continue, “I don’t want to have any children.”

Killian glances over at me then back to the road. “Giselle, what you went through growing up was because your mother wasn’t diagnosed properly. You heard the doctor. Your mother will live a normal life.”

“There’s that word again…normal…nothing was normal about what Addy and I went through. I can’t imagine ever putting my children through that. The physical and emotional abuse. I won’t do it. And who’s to say this time will work?”

“Maybe take some time and think about it. It’s not like you have to decide right now.”

“There’s nothing to think about. I won’t put my family through that. The doctor said it can develop at any time.”

“So, what? You just won’t have a family? You won’t get married?”

“It’s one thing to get married. I’m not saying I’m going to not have a life. But had my parents not had kids when my mom got sick, they wouldn’t have had to deal with us.”

“I can’t speak for your father, but I don’t believe your mother would view it as dealing with you. She was so happy to finally feel good. You heard her when we were talking to her afterward. She’s excited to start this next phase of her life with her daughters.”