Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2)

Killian pulls into the parking garage and parks in his spot, then he turns to me. “I feel like I’m finally living again, and you’re the reason why. Please don’t stop what’s happening between us out of fear.”

I take a second to assess his features. His messy chocolate-brown hair and deep mesmerizing green eyes. The way he smiles at me like I’m everything. He’s the perfect mix of sexy and beautiful and perfect. And I know exactly what he means, because it wasn’t until he entered my life I felt like I was finally really living. I don’t want to stop living…I just don’t want my living to negatively affect those around me.

“I don’t want to stop anything between us. But Killian, I have to ask, and I know it’s too early to even mention children, but would you be okay with…I mean…” I take a deep breath. “I don’t want to have kids. I know it sounds like overkill, but you weren’t there when I was growing up. You didn’t see what we went through because of my mother’s illness. You didn’t read the articles I read. I want to live my life and love you. But I don’t want you to feel you have to stay with me out of obligation, if what happened to my mom, happens to me. My dad sucks, but I believe that a lot of the reason why he stayed with my mom all those years was because of my sister and me. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he left once Addy went away to college. I don’t ever want you to feel you have to be with me. And I don’t ever want to put my children in the position Addy and I were put in. I’m not trying to blame my mom. I know she didn’t know. But I do know. And it would be irresponsible of me to have kids knowing there’s a chance that at some point I might not be able to be the mother they deserve. Are you okay with it just being the two of us?”

“Shit, baby, I know what you went through was rough, but I would never leave you. Whatever happens in life we will face it together. And you can’t go by all the crap on the internet.”

“It wasn’t just crap. Many of those sites are credible. Did you know people with Bipolar run a higher risk of committing suicide? Of becoming addicted to drugs? Is that what you want to potentially expose our kids to? I found my mom on the floor half-dead. I would never wish that on another person.”

Killian stares at me for a long moment. I don’t even realize I’m holding my breath until he nods once. “I just want you, Giselle. Whatever it is you want or don’t want I’m okay with. But I think you should speak to someone.”

“Like a counselor?”

“Yeah, I can go with you if you want. I just think it would be a good idea to speak to someone about how you’re feeling.”

“Okay,” I agree.

We get inside and Killian gives his brother a call. Not even twenty minutes later he calls back with an address for my dad.

“That was fast.”

“My brother has connections.” Killian winks playfully.

“Will you go with me to see him?”

“Of course. When?”

“Now? The address isn’t too far from here. We can swing by and get the papers from the realtor and take them to him to sign and get notarized.”

* * *

We pull up to an older yet still beautiful brownstone in Chelsea. I’m not a real estate expert, but if I had to guess, the place is worth a few million. “Are you sure this is the address?” I ask Killian.

He double checks the information his brother sent over. “Yeah.”

We get out and walk up to the front door. I ring the doorbell and immediately hear the sound of children’s laughter. The door swings open, and standing there is a young, gorgeous blond-haired woman of maybe thirty. Based on how she’s dressed and the way she presents herself, it’s obvious this woman has money. Two little boys who can’t be any older than five peek out from behind her, giggling.

“I’m sorry. I think I have the wrong address. I’m looking for Craig Winters.”

The woman smiles softly. “You have the right address.” She turns her head back toward the inside of her home. “Craig, honey, someone is here for you.” My stomach lurches at the term of endearment. Killian’s hand finds mine. Something isn’t right here.

My dad steps forward, and when he realizes it’s me, his face pales. “Giselle…”

“Dad.”

“Craig,” the woman says, “why is she calling you ‘Dad’?”

“Heather, give us a moment, please.” My dad steps outside, shutting the door behind him.

“Is she…are they…” I can’t even finish my sentence. I’m in shock. Killian’s grip on my hand tightens.