Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2)

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I grab a paper towel and dry my face.

“Do you have the flu?” she questions.

“No!” I snap. “I think it’s just nerves. It’s my first time leaving my mom home alone. I’ve been working remotely from home since she got out.” My mom has told me several times she’s fine and I need to go about my everyday life, but I’m scared. The last time I came home, she was on the floor of the bathroom, a few minutes away from her death. Every time I attempt to leave, I imagine coming home and finding her too late. It’s been over a month since she moved in and I’m still not ready to leave her yet.

“Yeah, okay.” Celeste rakes her eyes down my body. “So, is it the nerves that are making you put on weight?”

“Not all of us pay a trainer to keep us in perfect model shape.” I glare, and she shrugs.

“Whatever you say. Looks like I’ll be throwing two baby showers instead of one.” She winks and walks out of the bathroom just as Olivia walks in.

“You okay?” she asks.

“Yeah, Celeste is just being her usual bitch-self.” My side cramps up and I rub it with my fingers. It’s been doing this the last few hours. Maybe I am getting sick. I’ve heard the flu is going around…

“What did she say?” Olivia asks with a laugh.

“That I’m getting fat.” The pain in my side strengthens, and I place my hands against the sink to steady myself.

Olivia now looks at me concerned. “You’re hardly fat.”

“What do you mean hardly?” I turn the water on again to splash my face. My eyes meet hers in the mirror

“Well…” She flinches. “I mean…”

I turn toward the full length mirror and assess my body. I look the same…although, my pants were a tad harder to put on. I just chalked it up to Killian drying them by mistake.

“When are you due?”

Celeste’s words send me running back to the toilet. There’s nothing left to throw up, though, so instead, I spend the next five minutes dry-heaving. Olivia doesn’t say a word. When I rinse out my mouth again, I catch her face in the mirror. She looks concerned.

“What?” I hiss. My stomach contracts—the pain radiating down my side.

“Is it possible?” Her gaze goes to my stomach.

“No, I’m on the pill.”

Olivia scoffs. “Have you missed any? I only missed a few… and POOF”—her hands shoot open at the same time her eyes go wide—“came Reed, and now this baby.” She covers her adorable protruding belly.

“No…” I shake my head. “No, no, no. That shit happens to you, not me. I take them every goddamned day…” Except a few nights I ended up sleeping at Killian’s place but left my pills at mine… and then when we went to North Carolina and then Cozumel. Holy fucking shit! I am just as irresponsible as Olivia.

“Giselle,” Olivia says, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just going to go pee. I’ll be right out.”

“Is it possible…that you’re pregnant?”

“I don’t know,” I lie. “Please…just go tell Killian I’ll be right out.”

Olivia agrees and heads out of the bathroom. I wait a few seconds and then go out the back door. This seriously can’t be happening. I’m so stupid. I thought I was invincible, like if the pills were there, I wouldn’t get pregnant. There’s a reason doctors tell you to take them at the same time every day and not to miss any.

I flag down a cab and give him my address. I need time to think. This is my fault. I should’ve been more careful. I’ve been throwing up on and off for weeks. I knew deep down there was a good chance I was pregnant. I just didn’t want to deal with it. I saw how Melanie having an abortion affected Killian. Could I do that? Could I abort a tiny baby that we created? No, I couldn’t. Which is why I chose to live in denial.

I feel that sharp pain on my side once again, and my hand goes to my belly. “Sir, I’m going to throw up. Can you please stop?” He pulls over, and I barely make it out of the cab when I start throwing up nothing but acid. My knees hit the cement, and I try to release whatever is making me feel sick and nauseous. My stomach cramps are now so unbearable, I can barely stand, so instead I remain on all fours.

“Ma’am, should I call you an ambulance?” the driver asks. I’m in so much pain, I can barely speak. It’s like the wind has been knocked out of me. I’m dizzy and queasy. Maybe I have food poisoning. This can’t be how morning sickness is. Something is wrong.

“Yes, please,” I choke out. I stay doubled over as I wait for the ambulance to arrive. The pain is now so horrendous it’s hard to see straight, hard to think. This isn’t like any flu or food poisoning I’ve ever had. I’m losing my baby. I know it. I was afraid to admit I was pregnant. I considered, even if only briefly, not having this baby, and now I’m about to lose it.