Going Deep (Imperfect Love 2)

When the pain gets so intense, my arms cave in, and I fall to the ground. Worried about my baby, I cushion my belly, and my shoulder hits the cement hard. I pull myself into the fetal position, praying the ambulance gets here soon. My eyes close. It hurts so much. I can hear the sirens. I try to open my eyes, but I can’t. I hear the driver speaking to the medics.

“I-I’m pregnant,” I try to tell them. “I’m pregnant.”

“Okay, miss. We’re taking you to New York General. We’re just going to find your identification in your purse.”

I think I nod, but I’m not sure. They lift me onto a gurney and push me into the ambulance. My eyes are squeezed shut as I try to block out the excruciating pain as they let me know what they’re doing every step of the way. They place an oxygen mask over my face. I’m not sure when it’s finally too much for me to handle, but at some point I feel myself begin to black out. My last thought: a plea to God to not take my baby. The baby I was in denial of, the baby I want more than anything in this world but was too afraid to admit, until the idea of losing him became all too real. Isn’t that how the saying goes? You don’t realize how much you love someone until he’s gone…

Thirty-One

Killian

“She’s not in the bathroom!” I shout. “I’ve checked every fucking stall. She’s not there! Where is she?” Celeste and Olivia are both wearing nervous looks on their faces. Not scared like they’re afraid something happened to my wife, but nervous like they know something I don’t.

“Olivia, you have to give me something here. Did she leave? Did something happen?” Giselle has been off the last few days. She told me she was just stressed and tired, but it felt like something more.

Olivia glances between Nick and me. Then her eyes go to Celeste. “I-I don’t know…”

“She’s pregnant,” Celeste blurts out. “She was throwing up and I pointed out she’s pregnant. She probably got spooked or something and left.”

“Celeste,” Olivia hisses.

“What? I’m sorry but the guy is assuming the worst here. She wasn’t kidnapped or anything. She’s just pregnant.”

Pregnant.

Giselle is pregnant.

And she ran.

That may not be the worst case scenario to Celeste, but that’s only because she doesn’t know Giselle doesn’t want to have kids. She’s terrified at just the thought of becoming a mother. And then it hits me…She ran! Like Melanie ran. I pull my phone out and dial her number. It rings and rings and rings and then goes to voicemail.

“We have to find her,” I say. “She…” I can’t say the words out loud. That there’s a real possibility of another woman, who’s pregnant with my baby, and is about to…fuck! I can’t even think the words. This can’t be happening. Could I forgive Giselle if she does what I think she’s about to do? Could we get past it?

Olivia’s phone rings and she pulls it out of her back pocket. “Is it Giselle?” I ask.

“No, I don’t recognize the number.” She answers the call. “Hello?” Her eyes dart over to me. “Yes, I am.” Her hand that’s not holding the phone goes to her mouth in shock. “Okay…Okay, thank you.”

She hangs up and tears pool in her eyes. A million scenarios run through my head of what could’ve happened, but there’s only one thing in this moment I know for sure. I can forgive Giselle for anything as long as she’s okay. I knew she didn’t want to have kids. We didn’t use protection. Yes, it’s on both of us, but she’s not over what happened with her mom. She’s been afraid to leave her for weeks since we brought her home. She’s alone and not in her right mind. Fuck! This can’t be happening…not again.

“She’s at New York General,” Olivia says, snapping me out of my thoughts. “They couldn’t tell me anything over the phone, but I’m her emergency contact. All the nurse could say is she’s in surgery and should be out within the next hour and will need someone to bring her home once she’s released.”

My heart plummets. Giselle had surgery. There’s no way she ran straight to the hospital to have an abortion. Something else has to be wrong. Without waiting for anyone else to follow, I start to run toward the entrance. We came in a cab tonight in case we both drank…which Giselle didn’t. I hail a cab and Olivia, Nick, and Celeste jump in as well. After I tell the cab driver where to go, the drive is silent with worry.

We get to the hospital and I go straight to the front desk. “My name is Killian Blake. I am Giselle Blake’s husband.”