When he returned his eyes to hers, it was as though she was looking at a haunted person. She hadn’t even heard his story yet and still her heart swelled with sympathy for him. Whatever it was, it was big.
“Christmas wasn’t always good at our house.” His voice held a broken tone to it. “I mean it was when I was little, but not later.” He expelled a deep breath.
“I’m sorry for pushing you. I shouldn’t have done it—”
“Don’t apologize. I understand why you want Project Santa to succeed. And I want the same thing.”
“Then trust me. A little publicity is all we need to gain the public’s assistance.”
“But it has to be without me. Trust me. I’m not the right person to be the face of a charitable event.”
“I disagree.”
“That’s because you don’t know me.” Pain reflected in his eyes. “Appearances can be deceiving. I’m not the man everyone thinks I am. I’m a fraud.”
“A fraud?” She instinctively moved away. “If you aren’t Finn Lockwood, who are you?”
“Relax. I’m Finn Lockwood. I’m just not supposed to be the CEO of Lockwood International. I got the job by default.”
She was confused. “Who is supposed to be the CEO?”
“My brother.”
“Oh.” She still didn’t understand. “He didn’t want the job?”
“He wanted it but he died.”
“I’m sorry.” She slipped her hand in his. “Sometimes when I have an idea, I don’t back off when I should.”
For a while, they just sat there in silence. Hand in hand, Holly once again rested her head on Finn’s shoulder as though it was natural for them to be snuggled together. Her heart ached for all he’d endured. She felt awful that she’d pushed him to the point where he felt he had to pull the scabs off those old scars.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Finn pulled away and got to his feet. “I should be going. I just wanted you to understand why I can’t be the spokesman for Project Santa.”
She rolled his words around in her mind, creating a whole new set of questions. She worried her bottom lip. After everything that had been said, she realized that it was best to keep her questions to herself. Enough had been said for one evening.
Finn placed a finger beneath her chin and lifted until they were eye to eye. “What is it?”
She glanced away. “It’s nothing.”
“Oh, no, you don’t get off that easy. What are you thinking?”
She shook her head, refusing to say anything to upset him further. She was certain if she thought about it a bit longer, she’d be able to connect the dots. It was just that right now it was all a bit fuzzy. “It’s not important.”
“I’m not leaving here until you talk to me. Whatever it is, I promise not to get upset with you. Because that’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it?”
She took a deep breath, trying to figure out how to word this without aggravating him further. “I’m sure it’s my fault for not understanding. If I just think it over some more, it’ll probably make perfect sense.”
He moved his hand from her face and took her hands in his. “Holly, you’re rambling. Just spit it out.”
She glanced down at their clasped hands. “It’s just that I don’t understand why the way you became CEO would keep you from getting personally involved with the publicity for Project Santa.”
He frowned. See, she knew she should have kept her questions to herself. Clearly she hadn’t been listening to him as closely as she’d thought. She prepared herself to feel silly for missing something obvious.
“I don’t deserve to take credit for the project. I don’t deserve people thinking I’m some sort of great guy.”
Really? That was what he thought? “Of course you do. This project was your brainchild. You’re the one who brought all of those businessmen together to orchestrate such a generous act. There aren’t many people in this world who could have done something like this.”
“I’m not a good guy. I’ve done things—things I’m not proud of.”