“We all have. You’re being too hard on yourself.”
He shook his head. “I wish that was the case. Besides, I’m not even supposed to be doing any of this. This company was supposed to be handed down to Derek, not me. I’m the spare heir. Anything I do is because of my brother’s death. I don’t deserve any pats on the back or praise.”
What in the world had happened to him? Was this some sort of survivor’s guilt? That had to be it. She had no idea what it must be like to step into not one but two pairs of shoes—his father’s and his brother’s.
“I disagree with you.”
Finn’s brows drew together. “You don’t get it. If it weren’t for my brother dying, I wouldn’t be here.”
“Where would you be?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure. After my brother died, I gave up those dreams and embraced my inevitable role as the leader of Lockwood.”
“Did you want to be a policeman or a soldier?” When he shook his head, she asked, “What did you dream of doing with your life?”
“I thought about going into medicine.”
“You wanted to be a doctor?”
“I wanted something behind the scenes. I was thinking about medical research. My mother was always going on about how much money her charity work raised to find cures for diseases, but it was never enough. I excelled in math and science—I thought I could make a difference.”
“But don’t you see? You are making a difference. You gave up your dreams in order to take over the family business, but you’ve made a point of funding and planning charitable causes. You are a hero, no matter what you tell yourself.”
His mouth opened and then he wordlessly closed it. She could tell he was stuck for words. Was it so hard for him to imagine himself as a good guy?
She squeezed his hand. “This is your chance to live up to your dreams.”
“How do you get that?”
“You can make a difference to all of those children. You can give them the Christmas you missed out on. Maybe you’ll give them a chance to dream of their future. Or at the very least, give them a reason to smile.”
His eyes gleamed as though he liked the idea, but then he shook his head. “I’m not hero material.” And then his eyes lit up. “But you are. You could be the face of Project Santa.”
“Me?” She shook her head. “No one knows me. I won’t garner the attention that Finn Lockwood will.” Feeling as though she was finally getting through to him, she said, “Please, Finn, trust me. This will all work out. I know you aren’t comfortable with the arrangement, but do it for the kids. Be their hero.”
There was hesitation written all over his face. “There’s no other way?”
“None that I can think of.”
The silence stretched on as though Finn was truly rolling around the idea. The longer it took, the more optimistic she became.
His gaze met hers. “Okay. Let’s do this.”
“Really?” She couldn’t quite believe her ears. “You mean it?”
He nodded his head. “As long as the promo is minimized.”
“It will be. Trust me.”
He didn’t look so confident, but in time he’d see that her plan would work. And then a bunch of children wouldn’t feel forgotten on Christmas morning. Knowing she’d had a small part in giving them some holiday cheer would make this the best Christmas ever.
“What are you smiling about?”
She was smiling? Yes, she supposed she was. Right now she felt on top of the world. Now that she’d proven her worth to Finn, she thought of asking him for that recommendation letter, but then she decided not to ruin the moment.
“I’m just happy to be part of this meaningful project.”
“So where do we begin?” Finn sent her an expectant look.
In that moment all of her excitement and anticipation knotted up with nerves. She’d talked a good game but now it was time to put it all into action. Her stomach churned. She willed it to settle—not that it had any intention of listening to her.
When she didn’t say a word, Finn spoke up. “Where do we start?”
The we in his question struck her. They were now a team. Not allowing herself to dwell on this new bond, she asked, “What about your guests? Shouldn’t you be with them?”