Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"Sorry about that," he apologized as he came around the corner.

"It's alright." Her smile had lost its fire. "How about that movie?"

They retreated back to the living room; both attempting to forget that they have been so close to ravishing each other's bodies only a few short minutes earlier. As time went by, their encounters continued each with as much or more intensity as the last. Then, they would stop, always just a little bit farther than the last time, but never far enough for Lexi. He captivated her every thought, and was even beginning to make his way into her dreams. The previous night, her dream had felt so real. When she had woken up to find herself in her dorm room, rather than wrapped in Jack's arms, she had been so exacerbated she'd actually woken Jennifer up. It was safe to say neither girl had been pleased.

The next day, Lexi forced herself to survive her three classes before driving over to Jack's house. She knew that Jack had the day off, and was anxious to see him. After the exceedingly vivid dream, she could hardly concentrate without images of him pressed against her skin to skin. She knocked on the door to announce her presence. Then, she pushed it open without waiting for a response. Jack was standing in the living room talking on his cell phone. He glanced over at the door as she entered and held up a finger as if to tell her he'd just be a minute. He moved into the bedroom and cracked the door as she sat down on the couch to wait.

Lexi had gotten dressed with extra special care today hoping to make an even more vivacious impression than usual. Even Jennifer, who's endorsement was practically nonexistent, had approved when she had chosen a short purple dress that buttoned around the neck with a key hole revealing a portion of her br**sts that would make Hugh Hefner blush. She had paired it with black leggings and thigh-high black suede Steve Madden boots. She slid her grey pea coat off, and deposited it on the couch armrest.

He wandered into the room and she eagerly hopped up from her seat to greet him. The smile he returned to her was weak and he held up his hand. "Lexi," he said her name as if reprimanding her. She couldn't help it; she radiated with energy. Her curls bounced in her face as she backed away obediently. She looked at him concerned, her eyebrows furrowed into a confused v.

"Sorry," she said smiling playfully trying to play off the seriousness of his appearance.

"No, Lex, it's fine. I just need to talk to you about some stuff," he said averting his eyes. Lexi paused in her excitement and took a good hard look at him. Large black circles ringed his eyes as if he hadn't slept the night before for several days even. Obviously, he hadn't been having the same dreams as her. His clothes, which were normally in pristine condition, hung off him wrought with wrinkles. He hadn't even given her a hug when she had walked in. Something serious was going on. "Oh ok. Well go ahead. I'm all ears," she said pretending to stay upbeat despite the awful feeling forming in the pit of her stomach.

He sighed heavily finally meeting her eyes. "I have a girlfriend."

"You what?" she practically screamed at him, shock evident on her now very pale face.

His head fell to his chest and he wouldn't meet her gaze. "She doesn't live here. That's how you haven't come across her. We've been dating since high school," he added the last part in an almost whisper, his voice breaking.

"You've got to be kidding me," she shrieked, tears unintentionally springing to her eyes. "Don't you stand there and tell me that everything we have is a lie." She pushed past him and into the kitchen running her hands against the sides of the cool countertop in an attempt to calm herself. It didn't work.

"It's not a lie."

She glared at him fiercely her jaw locked tight. "How?" Lexi asked through her teeth, smacking the countertop with the palms of her hands.

"Lex, I can explain."

"Oh, can you?" she asked turning to face him. "How can you possibly explain?"

He paused achingly watching the tears stream down her cheeks. "Look, I'm sorry."

"Oh you're sorry?" she retorted, throwing her hands in the air. "What good does that do? How does this solve anything? I don't need your apology, and anyways you still haven't given me an explanation." She stood straight-backed in front of him nostrils flaring staring him down. "You said you could explain. Well try. Please try to explain to me how any of this can possibly be okay. How could you lie and deceive me like this? All those things that you said," she cried running her fingers through her tangled curls. "God, did you mean anything you said?"

"Please don't cry. We weren't even really together." She shot him a look of death. "I know we spent a lot of time together," he said throwing his hands up in defense.

"Enough time that the fact that you had a girlfriend might have come up, don't you think?"

"Yes. I wanted to tell you so many times."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Jack. If you wanted to tell me, then you would have. Obviously, you didn't want me to know. You wanted to double dip."

"Oh, stop with that," he said taking her shoulders in his hands. "I stopped what we were doing before anything serious happened."

"Before anything serious happened. Are you serious?" she asked venom apparent in her tone.

"Lex...I..."

She cut him off not really wanting to hear his definition of what serious was. "Is that what all those phone calls were? All those weekends at home? You were visiting your...girlfriend." He nodded solemnly. "You let me go through all of this, let me feel like we were working towards something, while the whole time you were parading around with your girlfriend?" she asked weakly, her voice cracking. "What kind of person does that?"

"Lexi, please."

She couldn't listen to him pleading with her. She just couldn't do it. Suddenly, her voice shifted from despair to anger. "So tell me what did your girlfriend say when you told her that you had let some other girl sleep in your bed? What did she say when you told her that you would trail kisses across that same girl's face and down her neck with countless promises for more? Hmm?" she asked forcefully pushing him away from her. "What did she say when you told her how beautiful you thought I was, and how much you had never met any other girl as amazing as me? Was she happy? Wait, let me guess, you didn't tell her," she spoke fiercely accusing him. "Of course not, because had you told her, then she would be the one crying right now. Not me."