Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

Jack brushed his hair back from his eyes and paced away from her. "Please Lexi, God; I didn't want this to happen."

"You didn't want this to happen?" Lexi asked in disbelief. "God, are you blind? Why did you even ask me out in the first place, if you were so set on not letting this happen?" she threw the question at him angrily. "You didn't have to. I was walking away. You could have and should have just left it at that. Just answer me that; since you can't seem to answer anything else."

"I hesitated," he started lamely. "I wasn't going to ask you out, but I thought that I could hold you back. That we could just be good friends and maybe, you could even meet Danielle. Then we started hanging out, and I was in deep over my head after the first time we hung out. You were...are," he corrected himself, "amazing. I didn't want to stop what we had, and I never wanted to hurt you like this. But, by the time I realized I should tell you about Danielle, it was too late."

"You're right. It is too late. Good-bye Jack," she said shoving him against the pantry door, snatching her jacket off the couch, and marching towards the exit.

"Lexi," he called rushing after her. He latched on to her elbow and spun her around. "I told you because I want us to still be friends. I didn't want to hurt you."

"Don't feed me that," she quipped struggling to yank her arm free. He held on tight, not letting her loose. "Let me go," she cried warningly.

He ignored her command. "I'm not feeding you anything. The time isn't right for us, but I don't think that means there won't be a time for us," he said his blue eyes pleading. "Please Lex."

"You tell me you have a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend of what two or three years?" He nodded. "Then you tell me that the time isn't right for us, but you think you might want to be with me in the future? How can you even ask that of me? How much more selfish and pigheaded can you possibly be?"

He winced as she berated him. "I'm not asking for you to wait for me."

"Good, because that's never happening," she said under her breath.

He forged onward. "I just mean, don't give up on this. We haven't even begun, and I don't want us to be over."

"You're right. We haven't begun, and we never will. Thank God, this was over before I let you fool me any longer, before I actually acquired feelings for you." He winced again. She was saying these things just to hurt him now, and it was working. "Now, let. Me. Go," she demanded indicating with her forehead that he was still tightly holding onto her elbow.

"I really am sorry, Lex," he said finally releasing her.

"Save it," she said cutting off any further retorts. "Just do me one thing, Jack." She yanked open the front door.

"Anything," he volunteered eagerly.

"If I ever speak to you again, don't ever lie to me," she said as she slammed the door behind her.

* * *

K.A. Linde

That Old Familiar Feeling

But when you touch me like this

And you hold me like that

I just have to admit

That it's all coming back to me

- Celine Dion "It's All Coming Back To Me Now"

* * *

Chapter 3: Present

Open the door.

Don't open the door.

Open the door.

Lexi hovered in front of the plain black door with the silver handle resting in her palm, indecision distorting her features. The lock had already been clicked to an open status with the tiny metal key still sticking out from the hole. Bright purple Betsy Johnson luggage lay against the blue and cream patterned carpet. She had made it this far. There was no turning back. Taking a deep breath, Lexi twisted the handle and shoved the door open revealing Jack's apartment.

Adjusting her black laptop sleeve with teal glitter Coach C's, Lexi hoisted her carry-on to her shoulder and threw her black purse on top of it. Grabbing a hold of the extended arm from her rolling suitcase, she pushed through the open door, down the hallway, and into the living room. She smiled to herself noting the remarkable differences between their residences. She knew that despite his apartment being twice the size of hers, she probably paid way more between the two of them. She recognized the brown suede furniture he had owned in college which was comforting to know some things don't change. The furniture was facing a mounted Sony flat screen, XBOX 360, Playstation 3, and surround sound hooked into a killer receiver. Two black bookshelves sat on either side of the TV each overflowing with DVDs. An assortment of famous vinyl records covered one wall with an original copy of the Beatles White album proudly showcased at the center. Glass sliding doors opened to a petite balcony exposing the Atlanta skyline below. To the left was a stainless steel kitchen with black marble countertops and a breakfast bar where three red cushioned stools sat. Lexi peeped into the adjoining room and found a small dining room with four high backed chairs tucked into a rectangular wooden table.

Lexi ventured down the right hallway after leaving her bags resting against the loveseat. She chose the door on the left first and entered into the large master suite. Each piece of furniture was in pristine condition and appeared as if it had been directly relocated from an Ashley's Furniture store. The deep walnut collection looked exquisite against the caramel coated walls. Lexi paused in the doorway. She didn't want to overstep her bounds and being in his room made her feel as if she might be invading Jack's privacy.

Quickly closing the door, she turned and faced the adjacent one. She assumed this would be the guest bedroom Jack had mentioned. Her breath caught at the sight as she passed through the frame. She felt as if she had just traveled through time. The room had been laid out in exact replication of his college apartment. She blinked a few times wondering if she was hallucinating, but it didn't go away. Detailed memories flooded her vision, and she took a steadying breath. She was sure that it must be by chance that he had designed it this way. After all, we're all creatures of habit. If he liked it one way once, then she was sure that he must have just arranged it in this fashion subconsciously. Not sure if she enjoyed having memories rush her mind about that room...that bed, she raced back into the living room, snatched up her luggage, and distributed it in the bedroom. Recovering her state of composure, she quickly stripped down into a red satin tank top and black Soffee cheerleading shorts.