Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"I'm sorry," he said pulling back softly as he noticed her desire wane. "I'm sorry again and again. I couldn't control myself." His hand came up softly to her face and cupped her cheek. "You're so beautiful."

"I'm sorry too. We shouldn't be in this position again. I want us to be…us," she finally admitted to him. "I want you to be mine."

He nodded. "I know. I know what you mean."

"And I'm okay holding off until you are mine, Jack." He nodded again. "I just need to know if that is a reality for us one day or if I'm just wasting my time on you."

He thumb caressed her cheek affectionately as the time stretched between them. "I don't think you're wasting your time. When I'm with you, I know I'm not wasting my time."

Lexi nodded letting a smile touch the edges of her mouth. "Oh Jack," she sighed happily planting another kiss on his mouth. She hadn't felt this euphoric in nearly two years. Something about him always brought out the best feelings in her. And now it looked like things were actually going to work out for them, and they were going to do it the right way.

They let the night recede into morning as they stayed up together sharing stories and remembering what it was like to be in love. The easy flirtatiousness that they had always shared was dampened by the impending emotions that were sure to come forth once they got everything worked out. Instead, they enjoyed each other's company along with the rest of the bottle of wine until the candles died out and they both fell asleep.

* * *

K.A. Linde

Gummi Bears

That maybe it's true

That I can't live without you

And maybe two is better than one

But there's so much time

To figure out the rest of my life

And you've already got me coming undone

And I'm thinking two is better than one

-Boys Like Girls & Taylor Swift "Two Is Better Than One"

* * *

Chapter 16: November One and A Half Years Earlier

"Are you sure we have to have this sleepover at your place?" Chyna asked eyeing the dorm hallway reproachfully. "You do know I own a penthouse overlooking Central Park right?"

Lexi rolled her eyes dramatically. "Yes, I've been there before. It's beautiful, but you can't get the college experience in a penthouse."

"I take it back," she said looking at a particularly large brown stain on one wall, "I don't want to know what its like to be in college. That's why I didn't go. I've been dating college guys since I was fifteen. If I've managed to avoid a dorm room for five years, then I'm not meant to be in one. Really, I'm peachy keen chica."

"You're not getting out of this that easy," Lexi growled snatching a hold of one of Chyna's delicate wrists and yanking her further down the hallway. "And anyway how did you get away with that?"

"With what?" she asked innocently.

"Dating college guys."

"My penthouse was my sweet sixteen present. Happy Birthday princess! We're getting divorced. Move out," she said giggling sardonically. "It really was the best thing they could do for me since I didn't have access to my trust and couldn't purchase it myself."

Lexi had gotten used to this loathing hateful attitude Chyna displayed towards her parents. It was pretty common place. Lexi tried not to broach the subject too often since she had no experience in what Chyna was going through. Her parents, after all, were still happily married after nearly thirty years together. It truly saddened Lexi that Chyna's perception of relationships was so warped due to her parents. The fact that it hadn't completely jaded her towards all human interaction was a miracle in and of itself. "Well now that you have access why don't you get rid of it?" she asked. Though, she couldn't blame her for holding onto the beautiful apartment.

"I've replaced nearly everything inside from knocking out walls and replacing the floorboards. So it's not really like it's the same place anymore. Not to mention the fabulous view."

Lexi resisted the urge to mention that the penthouse was also the last gift Chyna had ever received jointly from her parents. She highly suspected this accounted for never selling the place. Some things just didn't need to be brought up, especially when Lexi was finally getting Chyna into her dorm room. Lexi could easily admit that an NYU dorm room was nothing compared to Chyna's apartment, but she was far from ashamed of the place.

She shared a common area with three other girls all who had been admitted into the law school that fall. The space was cluttered with nick-knacks from each other's previous residences. A mismatching couch and loveseat were crushed together in front of a tiny tube TV. The kitchen didn't even have a stove due to the safety hazard this produced. This explained why their tiny freezer was always overstocked with microwavable dinners. Four doors on the far wall opened up to the bedrooms. Lexi had the first room, if you could call it that, on the left. She hadn't lived in a lofted bed since her freshman year of undergrad. But if she hadn't put her bed nearly touching the ceiling, nothing else would have fit in the space. A tiny desk, rolling chair, and miniature refrigerator were crammed under the bed. The rest of the furniture was built into the room. Somehow she wasn't a bit embarrassed to bring her rich friend back to her place even if her room was as big as the girl's closet. She was in New York City at a top five law school. This was how people were supposed to live or at least, that's what she kept telling herself.

"Here we are," Lexi said hearing the lock click and pushing the door open. Chyna inspected the shared living space while Lexi produced another key and unlocked her bedroom.

"It's so…quaint," Chyna announced cocking her head to the side thoughtfully. Her eyes scanned the room purposely avoiding the ugly carpeted floors before landing back on Lexi.

"You haven't seen anything yet." Chyna turned towards Lexi following her into the bedroom.

"Wow. You didn't prepare me for this," Chyna mumbled her jaw slackened in surprise at the size of the space.

"Yeah, well, I didn't think it would be possible to prepare you anyway."

"You're probably right," she agreed in awe. Swiveling in place, Chyna observed the size of the room before saying, "You do realize my closet is bigger than this room."