Avoiding Commitment (Avoiding 1)

"I f**k up because I don't know how to do anything else. I'm worthless. I'm less than worthless. I should never have been in a relationship in the first place. If anyone had known what I was capable of, they would have run. But you knew and you stuck by me. You put up with me even when you had no reason to. I know I'm terrible at showing it but I do love you. I want you to know that you have my heart. You always have and you always will."

"Jack, how can you say that to me?" Lexi asked fighting back tears.

"Because it's the truth," he murmured.

"But you've never been able to show that to me."

"I might be able to." Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. Jack's hand reflexively went to his pocket and dug around for a second before producing a tiny black box. Lexi gasped as her eyes took on the shape of a jewelry box.

"What...what's in there?" she asked her voice shaking. Her eyes were wide with wonder and a hint of fear.

He cracked the box open revealing an exquisite princess cut diamond with a string of matching diamonds on either side. The band was pure white gold. It had an old timey feel to it, but Lexi had never laid her eyes on a more beautiful ring. "This was what I was going to give to you to prove that you have my heart."

Lexi hand flew to her mouth in shock. She couldn't help shaking her head in disbelief. No. Not now. Not after everything. She couldn't drag her eyes away from the amazing diamond.

"No," she murmured.

He nodded picking the ring up out of the box and twirling it around between his fingers. "I know I don't deserve you Lex."

"No," she muttered again.

"I know," he said nodding. "This was my grandma's ring. My mom gave it to me over my brothers because she knew that I would choose someone who really mattered to me not just the first person who came along."

"Jack please, just stop."

He seemed to ignore her. "Now I wasn't planning to show this to you, but," he looked up from the ring into her wide-eyed brown orbs, "this was meant for you. Only you."

"No."

"But either way that was what I had to tell you to show you my heart," he whispered.

"How could you do this now?" she murmured tears forming in her eyes even though she had told herself over and over that she wouldn't cry.

"It was the only thing I could think," he said snapping the box shut and stuffing it hastily back in his pocket.

"What does this mean?" she couldn't help asking.

"I took a job in Atlanta. I won't be a burden on you any longer. I can see what I did to you, what I continue to do to you, and I won't let that continue to happen. I f**ked everything up by sleeping with Stella, and I know that. I'll never forgive myself and I don't exactly expect you to forgive me."

"Atlanta? I thought you got turned down."

"The man that I interviewed with last night suggested me to a friend and as long as I'm in Atlanta by tomorrow night I have the job. It was a last minute kind of thing," he told her.

"So all of this was for nothing?"

"No it made me realize what I did to you. And I'm not going to do it again. So this is good-bye. I'll try not to bother you again. I love you Lex," he said planting a sweet kiss on her lips.

She could barely function right now. He was leaving her after all. They weren't going to be able to get through this. Even though she thought they would be able to work it out, they would never be given the chance. And as she watched him walk out her door, she truly knew that she would never ever hear from him again.

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Awesome Super Amazing Reviewers: Cupid's Psyche (I adored your Ramsey theories and it gave me a TON to think about! You're amazing and brilliant!), Sure As the Dawn, futurestar2009, Caroline202, cat10985, CaliBound, jet . black . dbs, August Empress of the Romans, total romance., sammi-2688, and misatok123.

K.A. Linde

Mistakes Worth Making

What am I suppose to do

When the best part of me was always you and

What am I suppose to say

When I'm all choked up and you're okay

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces

-The Script "Breakeven"

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Chapter 23: Present

Lexi slipped inside his house carefully positioning herself where Ramsey couldn't get a look at her back. She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth wincing at the extreme tenderness. Ramsey glanced in her direction and she instantly moved to cover her throat with her hair. No need for him to ask questions. It would really just be an unnecessary hassle. And, in either case, it wasn't something she would be able to explain.

She stood by the stairs and waited for him to walk up first. She couldn't exactly have him watching her as she walked up the stairs. She followed behind closely ducking into the guest bedroom where he stood against the doorframe.

"I'll just get you something to sleep in," he told her a smile playing across his features.

"Uh…thanks," she stated awkwardly turning to face him in the doorway. She liked the smile he was sending her way. It was very…sincere. He looked as if he genuinely did not want to be any place else in the world at that moment. He would be content standing in the doorway staring into her face for eternity. He wasn't even pressuring her to feel anything more just to look at him. And, man, was he attractive.

His blonde hair was radiating with perfection. His green eyes were rimmed with adoration and affection. She could see the lust prominent in the irises, but she knew he wouldn't push anything. The Country Club gentleman in him prohibited him from making her feel uncomfortable. She always thought that would work to a person's detriment, but now, with him standing in front of her, she wasn't too sure.

Lexi's stomach twisted at the thought. She did not want to be thinking these types of thoughts around Ramsey. He disoriented her in a completely different manner than she was used to. Jack tilted her completely off balance. She couldn't think…she could hardly breathe around him. It was as if her orbit shifted to circling only him. Wherever he was and whatever they were doing she naturally rotated around him.

With Ramsey she could feel a sense of equality about their movements. He revolved around her while she matched his movements. It was a completely new experience. And also terribly frightening to know that she could have such a connection to someone she had just met…to someone she hadn't even particularly liked up until tonight, when she found she hadn't been able to stop him from kissing her. That she didn't want to stop him. But she couldn't think about that right now. Tonight, of all nights, she needed to keep her wits about her.