But what it if wasn’t enough?
If Serigala had been destroyed…would he still have a heart to give me?
If all those defenceless rescues who were alive because of him were dead…what would that do to him?
It tore out my heart, let alone his.
Would he return, still trusting we could be happy, or would death remind him that all connection was so fleeting? Death was the one thing he could trust in, and it might prove to be too much.
Because, regardless if we wanted it or not…we were linked now. If he hurt, I hurt. If I hurt, he hurt. We’d just doomed ourselves to a lifetime of pain instead of pleasure.
Ugh.
I dropped my face into my hands, shaking a little.
Please, come back.
Please, still trust me.
Please, please don’t push me away.
Jealousy reached under the table and squeezed my knee. “Hey, stop it. Stop thinking about the bad and focus on the good. It’s going to be fine. He’ll come back and things might be a little…aggressive…for a while, but then he’ll be yours again.”
I dug my fingers into my eyes, then swiped at my cheeks before I let my hands fall heavily into my lap. “I wish it were that easy.”
“It will be.” She patted my leg before withdrawing. “Just don’t let him go all macho moron on you. If you feel him pulling away, just remind him that it’s too late for that now.”
“Too late to end things?”
“Too late not to be broken if he does.”
I sighed heavily. “I truly hope Serigala and all its animals are okay. Maybe the treeline just caught fire. Maybe it only took them an hour to stop, and he’s stayed there all day because he has a heart of gold and wanted to lavish his rescues with affection.”
That would be more believable if I couldn’t smell the carnage from here.
Jealousy’s smile was unconvincing. “Yeah, maybe.”
I glowered at the table, wishing I had some means to chase after him. I’d attempted to coax a guard into driving the speedboat there at lunchtime, but everything was on lockdown. The goddesses commanded to stay in their villas while the guests were requested to relax away from the main shore.
Skittles chirped softly, tucking her tiny feathery body in the crook of my neck and nuzzling my throat. Her sweet affection brought tears to my eyes. Pika sat on a lamp by the sliding doors leading to the deck, his wings slumped and grief evident in his black eyes as he waited for Sully.
He hadn’t left his perch since Jealousy guided me from the beach and back to her villa, a few private beaches down from mine. She’d changed from her pyjamas into a lacy skirt and top, and allowed me to freshen up in her bathroom, then borrow a black sundress.
The remains of our unwanted dinner scattered between us. Seemed neither of us had the appetite to eat while the scent of charred flesh and fur coated the entire island.
Sully.
No matter what topic that popped into my mind, my heart immediately dragged it back to him. Almost as if my pining was a physical entity in the room, Pika squeaked pathetically from his lamp.
“Come here, little terror.” I held up my finger.
He chirped once, then fluttered to me, ignoring my finger and landing next to his feathered sister, jostling her on my shoulder.
They squabbled for a second until Skittles accepted his presence and began to preen him. Almost as if she sensed Pika was suffering while Sully was gone.
Empathy from a tiny bird.
Compassion between two creatures.
Two emotions that could cause such pain to the affected and the ones who loved them.
Focusing on the claws of two tiny parrots digging into my skin, I asked softly, “Do you think he’s okay?” Such a generic question. A question that couldn’t be answered.
Jealousy scrubbed her face, then dragged her fingers through her blonde hair. Her attempt at consoling me stuttered a little as her hazel eyes caught mine with stark truth. “Are any of us truly okay?”
I slouched. “Do you have to be so frank?” I sighed with a weak smile. “I would’ve preferred the customary, ‘He’ll be fine. You’re overthinking it. He’ll be home soon and everything will be normal.’”
“I tried that. It’s not helping. You just mope harder.”
“Sorry.”
Silence fell, a third dinner guest who seemed to monopolise our conversation thanks to my obsession with what Sully was facing.
Skittles decided she’d had enough of her brother and flittered from my shoulder, picking her way through the unwanted meal, helping herself to a few grains of jasmine rice.
While Jealousy watched the tiny green, white, and apricot parrot, she murmured, “How many times have you had elixir now?”
I frowned, slightly afraid of the swift topic change. “Uh, three. Why?”
“Just wondering.” She hugged herself, rubbing her palms up and down her arms.
“Wondering what?” I sat forward in my chair, grateful for Skittles as she provided somewhere to look rather than each other. Pika left my shoulder, flying back to his place on the lamp, staring out to sea.