“I forgot that we were hiring,” I tell her honestly, although it might not make much difference now. “I didn’t even think about it to be honest. I just assumed… well, I don’t know what I thought.” God, I’m such an idiot.
“I didn’t even know that you owned a company. This is all very unexpected. Sorry, I already said that, didn’t I?”
I nod slowly. “I’m sorry. I realize now how stupid it was that I didn’t share that with you.” I sigh as a sadness claims me. “I have no real reason why I wasn’t just honest and now I feel like a total fool…”
“It’s okay, I understand.” I try to meet her eyes but she isn’t looking at me. Pointedly so. “You probably come across a lot of people who just want to get to know you because you’re some big wealthy business mogul. If I were you, I would be so used to hiding who I am that letting someone really in would feel a lot harder.”
I’m shocked. Serena understands me surprisingly well. It leaves me wondering if she has a lot that she’s keeping from me. Then again. I’m not exactly in the position where I can ask her about that right now.
“Yes, I guess that’s kinda true,” I reply truthfully. “But I should never have treated you like that. It isn’t right. I have known from the very first moment that I met you not to expect that kind of thing from you.”
“It’s okay.” For the first time since this conversation started, she smiles at me. A genuine smile which reaches her eyes as well as her lips, and I know that because she’s finally looking at me head on. “I get it. But we do find ourselves in a bit of a situation now, don’t we? Like, how is this going to work? Do you have to fire me now?”
I can’t believe that she has just suggested that, as if I would ever be so cruel. Plus, she opened up to me how much she needs this job and I can see the sheer terror dancing behind her eyes, letting me know that’s the last thing she wants to happen. I might not mix business and pleasure, because a man in my position never should, but I’m not going to get rid of her. We will just have to find a way to make it work for the both of us… somehow.
“Of course not,” I reassure her. “I would never do that. But you are right, we do need to work this out, don’t we? I don’t think that it would be the best idea for us to work together and sleep together with the rest of the work force knowing about it. I wouldn’t want people to call it a favoritism or things like that.”
She shudders hard. “No, I wouldn’t like that either. I don’t think that a good way for me to introduce myself to the work force is to be the woman who is sleeping with the boss. People will think that is how I want to get to the top!”
I let out a relieved laugh, glad that we are on the same page with that one. I do think it’s for the best, us at least keeping what’s happened between us to ourselves… but we also need to consider where things will go from here. It is bound to be a different dynamic now, knowing that I am her boss… her boss and also her man next door.
“Okay, so we should just carry on like we don’t know one another for now?” I check just to confirm.
“Right. And since you’re still cooking me dinner tonight…” She shoots me a playful wink, making me chuckle once more. “I will come to yours and we can discuss everything else. I guess this changes things a bit, doesn’t it?” She shrugs one shoulder in my direction. “At least, we need to have a talk about it.”
“I agree.” As Serena edges back towards my door to go back to her desk to return to work, my breath catches in my throat. All of a sudden, I don’t know what way that conversation will go and that scares me. I don’t want to lose Serena working for me because not only does she need this job, but I also know for a fact how much effort she put in to get this job and research the company so that she could be the best employee. I don’t think that I can lose her in anyway. I really do believe that she will have a lot to offer the company and that we can benefit from her…
But that being said, I don’t want to lose the relationship that we have shared either. I don’t like the confused look in her eyes as she moves backwards from me. I’m scared that she might be slipping through my fingers like grains of sand and there isn’t anything that I can do to keep hold of her, however hard I try. I want to reach out and grab her, but she’s already gone too far, out of reach, and there is absolutely nothing I can do.