No, I think to myself firmly as she finally slides through the door, waving at me as she goes, mouthing ‘goodbye’ as she vanishes from sight. No way, I won’t let that happen. I am not going to lose Serena. My fists ball up in determination in front of me. I need to find a way to make sure that she stays mine forever…
I can’t give up on her. She is the first person who has excited me in years, who has brought me back from the brink. I thought that I was destroyed when I lost Molly and the last few years have only confirmed that since I haven’t fallen for anyone else, but the hot red head who lives in the apartment next to mine has reinvigorated me and I am nowhere near ready to let that go. I’m sure that Serena isn’t either. We shouldn’t let something silly such as her working for me get in the way of that. The department that she is working in pretty much runs itself anyway. I don’t spend a lot of time there because I trust Alisha to have it under control. We don’t even need to see each other.
I lean back in my chair all smug, sure that Serena’s visit to my office will be the last time that we see one another today, or in the office at all. If that’s the case then it will be incredibly easy to still keep my personal and professional life separate. I will make sure that even if I am mixing business and pleasure, no one has to know about it. I will find that magical balance and things will be fine. Serena is worth putting the effort in for.
Don’t mix business and pleasure. Keep my personal and private life separate. It’s the best way…
At least, that’s the assumption, but as the hours tick by and I find myself aimlessly wandering by Serena’s desk again, it really put Alisha in an uneasy place because she’s certain that I’m up to something or that she is being investigated for her work practices. I know that Serena is my addiction and I can’t keep away from her, however hard I try. I would like to think that this is something I will get used to over time, but I’m honestly not sure. I don’t even know how much work I have gotten done today. Pretty much nothing. I’ve been far too distracted for that.
Even constantly trying to remind me of the plan isn’t helping me. I am in a perfect mess. Every time I tell myself that I need to keep myself away from her at work, the giant magnetic force between us pulls me back once more. What is wrong with me?
“Oh God.” I finally make it back to my desk and slump my head in my hands. “What am I going to do?”
A surge of hopelessness bursts through me, striking me hard at the core. I can see that Serena gets stressed when she sees me, probably because she doesn’t like acting like we don’t know each other and hiding what we share, yet I have found myself heading over to her constantly. I am totally a useless person at acting. I have probably made a giant mess of everything. I dread now Serena coming around tonight and telling me that she can’t handle being with me because I haven’t left her alone all day. I will have no one to blame but myself.
I check the clock noting that I still have some time left before the end of the day, so I make a silent vow to myself to stay at my desk until then. I won’t give in to the temptation, I will just focus on what needs to be done. Maybe the space will give Serena some time to think before she breaks things off with me. I can only hope…
Chapter 9 – Serena
“So, what was that all about this morning?” Alisha asks me over lunch in the calmest tone of voice that she can manage. But I can still read between the lines, I know that she’s desperate to know what’s going on between me and Will…or not Will, I can’t really think of him like that. Now, he is Mr. William Brent, my big boss.
“It was paper work.” I just about remember the cover up that Will gave before and go with the same line. “I didn’t fill in a couple of my forms right and he wanted me to sort it out before I start properly.”
“Hmm, that’s weird.” Alisha’s mouth turns down into a telltale frown. “He doesn’t normally deal with things like that. That’s for the HR department. I just don’t know why he would have anything to do with it.”
I don’t have an answer for that so I just shrug, hoping that Alisha will let it go. Unfortunately, she is too fixated on what Will is up to, which suggests to me that his constant presence in our office isn’t a normal thing.