“Sorry, I…” I don’t have any excuse for my behavior. Nothing I can share anyway. I can’t make her understand, can I? Because I have kept my private life so private from everyone else. This isn’t the time for me to pop that I actually have a daughter waiting for me at home and she needs me home. “I’m sorry.”
“I thought you were smooth, Zack,” she tells me with a curiosity lacing her tone. “I assumed that you were a play boy, but how you acted last night makes me think that you don’t have any experience with women at all.”
“Huh, that might be more the truth.” I might as well be humble and as honest as I can be without revealing all. “I don’t know why you would assume that I’m a play boy because that isn’t me at all…”
“That’s curious.” Latesha cocks her head to one side and stares at me with awe. Her arms un fold and she loosens up thank goodness. I much prefer the warmth from this woman because the cold is hard to take. “I guess there is a lot that I don’t know about you, Mr. Ward. There is a lot still to learn.”
As the warmth comes, so does a wave of seduction, sucking me in and making my head spin. She is lust personified, sex on legs, and I would love nothing more than to take her up against my desk and to fuck her hard… but I don’t think more random sex is the best way for me to apologize for my behavior.
Plus, that will put me in a vulnerable situation, and the strange way that she has me feeling right now means I could easily spill everything. I keep my professional and private life separate. Maybe I can find a compartment for a romantic life as well… I know that it’s dangerous to add something else in to the mix, it could unbalance me in a heartbeat, but there is something about the way that Latesha is looking at me through her eye lashes which makes me want to try. Giving it a go can’t hurt, surely? Especially when she makes me feel a way that I haven’t before. I’m pretty sure that this is even different to the early days with Karen. This is better.
“Let me take you out for a drink,” I offer with a smile. “I clearly have a lot to make up for, so let me start right now. There is a nice bar just around the corner. We could go and have a chat.”
“Ah, that sounds nice.” Her grin stretches from ear to ear. “That way I might be able to peel back some of your onion layers. I might get to know the big bad boss man who isn’t a play boy after all.”
I have already asked Mom for more time and I know that she will be happy with Amelia, so I can have this separate compartment. Even if it’s just for now. I hold out my arm to her and she links her arm through it so we can head to the bar together. Sure, the whole boss and employee line is a dangerous one, but the electricity darting and shooting through my body at her mere touch convinces me that this is going to be a good idea. Or fun anyway.
It’s been a long time since I have had a good time, so why the hell not?
“So, I guess I don’t need to ask you how many women you have brought to this bar then?” she asks with a chuckle. “Since you aren’t exactly used to dating around. Wow, that’s going to take some getting used to…”
“You are the first one,” I tell her honestly. “I have only ever been with friends before.”
Up until yesterday, me and Latesha only ever had a professional relationship. I don’t have anyone that I consider a friend at work… but I’m easily slipping in to the friendly vibe with Latesha. She’s much easier to ever get on with than I have ever imagined. I feel like I can be myself around her… or a portion of myself anyway which is really nice. I can open myself up a tiny bit and let someone else in.
Would Amelia like her? God, that thought comes from nowhere. It shocks me how hard it hits me. Of course, I’m not actually considering introducing this woman to my daughter, that would be wild. I can’t bring anyone else in to our family until the past is resolved and we are all able to handle it, but deep down in the depths of my brain, I can imagine them getting on well. To me, Latesha is the sort of woman who Amelia would like…
God, I’m getting ahead of myself, acting soppy and wild. I really need to get a grip of myself before I end up ruining this by doing something stupid. This is just a drink, just a spontaneous date, nothing to get carried away with. I just need to make up for my shitty behavior last night, to show Latesha that I am not the worst person in the world. Anything else can potentially come afterwards. One step at a time or I will end up inadvertently doing something hurtful all over again. I need to be on top form so Latesha forgives me.