The Boyfriend Experience (The Boyfriend Experience 1)

Her anguish was real, and he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. “I’m not going anywhere, Mom. Ever,” he assured her, though he had to be honest with her, too. “But I don’t want you living like this anymore. All your focus and energy on keeping Trisha’s memories alive and making this house a shrine. She’ll always be here with us, in ways that go beyond a memorial garden or all the pictures in the living room or keeping her bedroom the same as it was when she died.” He remembered the butterfly at the lake, and how happy he’d been with that simple reminder of her. “Trisha would want you to move on and be happy.”

His mother pulled back to look up at him, clutching his arms. “She’d want you to be happy, too.”

It was on the tip of his tongue to say that he was happy, but considering how miserable he actually was without Evie, that would be a lie. He wasn’t sure he’d ever again be as happy as he’d been with Evie last weekend.

“You love her, don’t you?” his mother asked softly and more perceptively than she’d been the past thirteen years.

He had no idea what Evie and his mother had talked about at the salon, but clearly his mother had come to the conclusion that there was more between him and Evie than the friendship he’d told her. Again, it would be so easy to fudge the truth, but considering how open and honest his mother had just been with him, didn’t he owe her the same courtesy?

“Yes . . .” The word sounded pained as it passed his lips. “As much as I know what it’s like to love a woman, yes, I love her.” Because the way he felt about her was a first for him.

“You don’t need to know, Eric,” his mother said, placing her hand on the left side of his chest. “Your heart knows, and it was just waiting for the right woman to come along.”

He shook his head and moved back to the other side of the kitchen, not sure he was willing to leave it all up to his heart. “Did you know that as Trisha’s fraternal twin, there is a shared risk of me getting cancer?”

“Yes. Trisha’s doctor told us when she was diagnosed.”

He exhaled a frustrated breath. “How is it fair to build a life and family with a woman when the possibility exists that I could die the same way?”

She blinked at him, taken aback by his question. “Eric, there are no guarantees for anyone in this life. You could die in a car accident tomorrow, the same way you could die of cancer or any other illness that’s out of your control.” She paused, then said, “You can’t live your life second-guessing what is or isn’t going to happen. You could be healthy for the rest of your life and live until you’re ninety . . . and if that happened and you never took a chance and built a life and family with a woman you love, would you have any regrets?”

He imagined the next sixty years without Evie in his life, and all he saw was a bleak, lonely future because no one would ever be able to replace her. He groaned and scrubbed a hand down his face.

“It’s all fair if she knows and accepts the risks ahead of time, Eric,” his mother went on gently. “And if you find a woman who is strong and tenacious enough to take that chance with you knowing what could possibly happen, then she’s a woman worth fighting for. Don’t push her out of your life because of unfounded fears, because Evie is the kind of girl that some other man is eventually going to snap up.”

That thought made his gut churn with a shockingly possessive animosity, because he didn’t want to share Evie with anyone. Ever. Because she was his and had been from the first time he’d laid eyes on her in the coffee shop.

What made him think, or even believe, he could just let her go when she meant everything to him?

God, he’d been an idiot. So wrapped up in what he’d convinced himself was right over the years, he’d done just what she’d accused him of. Taken the choice away from her. Evie was right. His mom was right. Her being with him was her choice to make.

Now he just had to hope that he hadn’t pushed her too far away.

Eric could have driven straight to Evie’s place, but considering how badly he’d hurt her by rejecting the greatest gift anyone had ever given him—her love—she deserved flourish and fanfare. Hearts and flowers and bended knee. And that took at least a day to plan.

He shrugged into the black suit coat he’d brought with him to work to change into at the end of the day just as Leo strolled into his office. It had been a busy Friday, with their schedules conflicting, so his partner had no clue what Eric was up to.