“So Lucy…?” I replied smirking.
“Things look like they’re going good with Cade, you two make one hot couple,” she told me.
I sneaked a glance at Rosie, knowing she was happy for us, but still feeling weird.
“Gwennie, I could not be happier for you and my big bro, finally he has got an awesome chick instead of some skank!”
My stomach dipped a bit at her words, thinking about my conversation with Ginger.
“Speaking of skanks,” Ashley muttered and I followed her gaze.
My stomach well and truly dropped seeing Ginger talking to Cade within a group of men and stroking his arm.
“Bitch!” I heard Amy snarl from beside me and she stood up. I grabbed her hand and she glared down at me.
“What?” she accused, “Aren’t you going to do something? She’s practically humping Cade.” She pointed and I watched as Ginger sidled up to Cade. He scowled at her and shrugged her off, but she stayed close.
“What do you suggest I do Amy? Walk over there and rip her tacky earrings out?” I asked sarcastically.
“That would be my suggestion,” Rosie put in, giving Ginger a death stare.
“Mine too,” Ashley chirped.
Amy raised an eyebrow at me smugly. “See?”
I towed her back down beside me, taking a swig of her beer.
“That’s what she’s trying to get me to do.” I moved my eyes around the table, “She’s a shit stirring bitch just trying to start a fight. I’m not even going to bother to acknowledge her existence,” I stated, deciding not to tell them about my encounter at the store, knowing there would be no stopping Amy from going into bitch smack down. She may be an Upper East Side princess, but she wouldn’t hesitate to give a skank a bashing, especially for me. She really warmed to Cade, seemingly impressed at how he treated me and how happy I had been lately.
“Whoa, Gwen,” Rosie gaped at me in astonishment. “You are like super restrained, I don’t know any of Cade’s exes who wouldn’t be up there ripping Ginger’s throat out.”
“That’s probably why they’re his exes,” I said taking another pull of Amy’s beer. I was slightly pissed that my boyfriend hadn’t gotten mine like he promised. Maybe I was more pissed about the ‘him talking to a slut part’. “Now can we stop wasting breath on Queen Bitch and talk about something else?”
“Gladly.” Lucy started talking about one of the men from another charter who she was crushing on.
Not long after that, I got a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Lucky smiling down at me with a beer.
“Hey Princess, Cade got caught up, asked me to give you this.” He handed me the beer and sat down beside me.
“Thanks Lucky.” I smiled at him. “What’s new?”
He rolled his eyes, then gave me a sad look. “Bitches, Princess, they’re driving me crazy, don’t know what they’re thinking half the time, drives me insane,” he grumbled. “Sorry,” he added looking sheepish.
I laughed. “It’s okay.” I took a swig of my beer. “Tell me all about it.”
Lucky didn’t need much convincing, he launched right into the stories of his women troubles, talking easily to me. I started to like him more and more as the conversation went on. He obviously had respect for women, he just dated too many at the same time. During our chat more men came to shoot the shit and introduce themselves. Most were friendly, albeit scary. Some were flirty and very attractive, giving Amy lots of attention, which she was lapping up. I started to feel a little intimidated by the men. As the night went on, they were getting rowdier but I pushed through it, drinking more beer. Lucky stayed by my side for ages; he kept me feeling calm. I was starting to get a bit pissed Cade hadn’t showed up, primarily because of the way Ginger was with him. I scanned the yard and couldn’t find either of them. Great. My eyes did fall on Bull though, sitting apart from the group, in front of a fire drum. I saw his eyes in the flickering light, and something in them alarmed me. I got up purposefully. Lucky stood too.
“All good Princess?” he asked, the concern in his eyes registered. Cade had told him, the prick.
“Yeah, Lucky I’m fine, just got to do something,” I replied.
He followed my gaze. “Wouldn’t if I were you, Princess, he doesn’t like company so much lately.”
“I’ll be fine,” I responded before turning into the party and making my way over to Bull. After multiple glares from some of the women and winks from the men, I made it over. I sat beside Bull on the bench and he didn’t even look up.
“Don’t want company Gwen,” he muttered, staring down at the beer in his hands.
“Too bad,” I shot back and he glared up at me, hoping to scare me away. I didn’t move, he shrugged his shoulders and returned to contemplating the fire. I followed his gaze, watching the flames, sitting in silence for a bit. I had also seen Bull a lot during the past week, him and Cade seemed to be attached at the hip. Every time I saw him, I became more concerned.
“Haven’t told anyone this,” I started, speaking softly. “Not even Amy, my brother, no one. I would appreciate it, if after I tell you, we keep it between you and me.” I hoped he wouldn’t go running to Cade. Bull continued to ignore me, and I decided to take it as agreement.
“I tried to kill myself six months ago,” I stated, voice flat.
Bull’s body stiffened, but he stayed silent.
I was telling the truth, only me, the doctors that treated me and one other person knew about it.
“I was going through some shit…” I started.
“Know about that,” Bull clipped.
“Cade’s been sharing I see.” I was annoyed but kept on speaking. “Anyway, I wasn’t dealing with things well, wasn’t eating, going through intense rehab. I hardly slept, nightmares, flashbacks whatever.” I shook my head. “Memories of the night, their faces. Sometimes I would wake up screaming, screaming so loud the neighbors would call the cops; they were convinced someone was getting murdered. Eventually, they stopped calling. I saw what I was doing to my friends, family. I wasn’t coping, I was a burden on everyone I loved. Caused them pain, I could see it in their eyes, and I couldn’t stand it. I couldn’t stand the feeling I had under my skin either, the feeling of dirt, scum. I couldn’t get it out no matter how hard I tried, couldn’t get clean. I decided one day I couldn’t lived trapped in my nightmares, I refused to.” I took a breath and saw Bull was staring at me intensely.