Before I Die

“Everything okay?” he asks.

I glance behind me and see him lift his head slightly, blowing out a plume of smoke. I’ve never smoked cigarettes, and when I’ve been around people who did, I didn’t understand the desire. But as I watch Ethan lazily bring his cigar to his lips and inhale, I can’t help think how sexy he looks. And now that I see him smoking, I recognize the smell. A few times I’ve smelled the scent on him, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. Now I know.

“You weren’t in bed,” I say, answering his question.

“My sleep habits are fucked,” he says, taking another pull of his cigar. “Probably from years of running clubs and casinos. I’m used to going to bed at four in the morning and waking up at ten.” He takes another drag of his cigar and turns his head away to blow the smoke out so it doesn’t hit me.

“I didn’t know you smoke,” I say. “I’ve smelled it on you, but didn’t know what it was. It smells different than cigarettes.” It smells sweet yet manly. That sounds stupid, like how does a cigar smell manly? But it does.

“I’ve made it a point not to smoke around you,” he says, pressing his lips to the top of my head.

“Can I try it?” I ask, shifting in my seat, so I’m facing him better.

Ethan chuckles. “So fucking curious.”

I think he’s going to tell me no, but he surprises me when he brings the cigar to my mouth. I wrap my lips around it and inhale. The bitter taste hits the back of my throat and I choke out a cough.

“That definitely smells better than it tastes.”

“It’s an acquired taste.” He shrugs, taking another drag and then snuffing it out. “Come.” He pats my thigh. “Let’s go to bed. I was thinking tomorrow we can check out the city before we head back.”

“That would be great.” I turn around and give him a kiss, and he lifts me and carries me back to bed. It’s still early, only ten o’clock, but my body and mind are exhausted and I have no problem falling back to sleep.

Ethan

I wake up to something—no, someone—touching me. For a brief second, I think I’m dreaming. It’s been several weeks since I’ve gotten laid. Am I imagining it? But then a soft hand wraps around my hard shaft and I pop my eyes open, knowing there’s no way a dream or my imagination would feel that real.

“Angel,” I croak out, my voice raspy from sleep. “What are you doing?”

I glance down and find Nevaeh getting up close and personal with my dick. She’s lying on her side and is checking out my dick through the hole in my briefs. I took off my jeans last night when we came back to bed, and at some point it either popped through, or she pulled it through. Either way, it’s on display and she’s assessing it.

“Exploring,” she says, her voice too fucking sweet and innocent.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I can see that.” She closes her hand around my shaft and strokes it slightly. “I can feel that,” I groan.

“You won’t let me get close to you when you’re awake.” She shrugs nonchalantly, and fuck if this woman’s innocence isn’t a turn on. “I woke up to go pee and it was poking me in the back. You were sleeping, so I decided to explore.” She squeezes my dick lightly and then flinches. “Sorry.”

“That doesn’t hurt. You could be a lot rougher than that and it wouldn’t hurt.”

She nods. “Does it just get hard on its own?”

I chuckle and shake my head. “More often when you’re around,” I tell her honestly.

“But you were sleeping.”

“With your naked ass pressed up against me.”

“When’s the last time you had sex?” she asks, releasing my dick. Poor thing is so confused. All it wants is for her to continue to touch it.

“Ethan?” she prompts.

Oh yeah, she asked me a question… One I’m not about to answer.

“Not going there with you.”

“Which means it wasn’t too long ago,” she accuses, her brows furrowing.

“I can’t help what I did before you.”

“No… I know,” she says softly. “It’s not that. Gerald broke up with me because I wanted to wait.” The mention of her ex is all my dick needs to deflate. “I know we’re only just getting to know each other, but if you won’t have sex with me because I’m waiting for marriage, aren’t we doomed to fail? Surely, you have needs…”

The insecurity in her tone makes me want to find that asshole and beat the shit out of him. Sitting up, I grab Nevaeh’s hips and pull her up so she’s straddling my lap.

“Gerald was a dumbass. I don’t care what a guy says… men can go without sex, and no man should ever tell you different, or make you feel like waiting for you is a deal breaker. If a guy truly cares about you, he will respect your wish to wait.”