Before I Die

“Easy to say when you haven’t had to go months or years without it,” she argues.

“Fuck that.” I frame her face with my hands. “I can’t speak for anyone but me, but if it means having you in my arms, I could go without sex for as long as you need me to. Sex with someone you love isn’t about the act. It’s about the feeling.” I swallow thickly, realizing I used the L word. A word I haven’t used since Kelsi.

Thankfully Nevaeh doesn’t call me out on it. Instead, she wriggles out of my hold and scoots down my body until she’s back between my legs. “But we can still do other stuff… I mean, you’ve gone down on me…” She takes my flaccid dick in her hand and strokes it up and down.

“Nevaeh,” I groan, torn as to what to do or say. She’s right, I have. And fuck if I don’t want those pretty fucking lips wrapped around my dick. But crossing that line is dangerous. Can I live without sex? Yeah. I wasn’t lying to her when I said I could wait. But I can see through her, and this is her way of toeing the line. And if she keeps pushing the way she is, I’m afraid I’ll give into her because I can’t seem to tell this woman no.

“Ethan, please,” she begs. “I just want to see what it’s like.” She flutters her lashes, then dips her head down to kiss the head of my dick, and I’m a fucking goner.

“Fuck,” I breathe, shutting my eyes as she wraps her warm mouth around my dick, and praying I don’t shoot my load like a pubescent teenage boy.

Not wanting to miss a second of what she’s doing, I pop my eyes back open and watch as she, with all her innocence, explores my dick. When she comes up on her knees to get closer, the blanket slides off her, exposing her slim back, perfect hips, and luscious tits. As she runs her tongue along the veins of my shaft, her pebbled nipples rub against my thigh. I want to reach out and tweak her nipple, but I don’t, knowing this is her time to explore.

When a bead of pre-cum seeps out, she darts her tongue out to lick it, and I about come on the spot.

“It doesn’t taste bad,” she notes. “In my books, some say it tastes bad and others say it tastes good.”

Jesus fuck…

With her hand stroking my dick, her other one fondles my ballsac. “Does that feel good?” she asks. “Some guys in my books say it does.”

“Yeah, Angel,” I choke out, willing myself not to come. “It feels good.”

My response causes her lips to curl into a soft smile.

“I want to make you orgasm like you’ve made me.” Her eyes meet mine. “I don’t think I’m ready to swallow yet…” When I raise a brow, she adds, “In my books the woman oftentimes chokes and gags.” Her adorable nose scrunches up. “I don’t want that to happen. So can you warn me before you come?”

“You don’t have to do this,” I say—and I swear if my dick could talk, it would tell me to shut the fuck up.

“I know, but I want to.” And without another word, Nevaeh wraps her lips around my dick and takes me almost all the way in. What she can’t fit in her mouth, her hand strokes. She sucks and licks me like I’m her favorite popsicle, and while I wish I could watch her do this for the rest of my life, all too soon I’m ready to explode.

“Angel…” I run my fingers through her thick, curly hair. “I’m going to come.”

She doesn’t stop for several seconds, and I worry I won’t be able to hold back. But then in the last second, she pops off my dick, and with her tits so close, I shoot my load all over them. And the sight of my cum dripping down her flesh is better than coming in her mouth. She watches in wonder until she’s milked me dry and then she swipes her finger across a ribbon of cum and brings it to her mouth to taste. And if I hadn’t just come, I would be now.

“That’s not so bad,” she muses, then looks down. “We’re a mess. Will you take a shower with me?”

Even though I know it’s a bad fucking idea, I nod. “Absolutely.”

After we’ve showered—and I’ve made her come with my fingers and tongue—we head out to spend the day in the city. I’ve been here a million times over the years, but experiencing it with Nevaeh is different. She’s so innocent and pure. She sees the good in everything and everyone. On every street corner is a homeless man or woman, and every one we see, she makes it a point to stop and give them money. One has a dog with him and she gives him double the amount of money so he can feed them both. We stop by the different museums and shops and she soaks it all in. When it gets dark, and I tell her we have to head home soon because the funeral is tomorrow, she frowns but nods.