The light turns green and I speed away. I want to put as much distance as I can between me and everything right now. I don’t know how else to process or deal with the tornado of emotions. I’m not much of a talker, so there’s no one I share this with. I have a variety of methods that I use to block out my mind, but right now I just need to keep concentrating on the road.
When I get home, I take a long, hot, shower, then head to bed, trying to keep a certain redhead from drifting into my thoughts.
Chapter 10
Lorelai
I wake up early in the morning feeling restless and anxious. After hurrying through my routine of showering and dressing for the day, I decide to distract myself from what’s bothering me by cooking breakfast.
While I eat, I try to watch the news, but it doesn’t really hold my attention. I’m halfway through my meal, and I’m back to worrying. I can’t keep Gabriel off my mind. The other night is constantly in my head. It’s the most powerful thought or memory that I have right now. It’s also the most exciting thing to happen to me in a very long time.
What worries me now though, is that it’s been 3 days since my date with Gabriel and he hasn’t called. I keep checking my phone, and still nothing. I replay the whole night in my head over and over again. Did I say or do something wrong? Did I offend him in some way? No matter how many times I think about it, that night seemed like a perfect night. Probably the only perfect date I have ever had.
I finish my breakfast, feeling more and more depressed.. Maybe he didn’t like me as much as I thought he did. That night seemed so perfect to me, I don’t know what happened. Maybe the chemistry that I felt was all on my end. But I couldn’t have imagined it? Right? There was definitely something between us when he kissed me.
I get up with a sigh to wash dishes. I think back to how distant he seemed at the end of the night. After that kiss, he’d suddenly retreated into himself. Am I a bad kisser?
I try to remain logical by telling myself, “He said he gets wrapped up in work, he’s probably just busy. Give him some time.”
But it doesn’t work. I can’t stop my mind from obsessing over this. I don’t know why, he’s still basically a stranger after all. But he’d made me feel so many new things. Whatever happened between us the other night was incredible and I wish it would happen again.
I just can’t get over how he reacted on the way home. That’s what leads me to think that I did something wrong. I take a cup of coffee and go sit on the couch in the living room, glad I don’t need to be at the shop yet. But the extra time unfortunately leaves me with a lot of time to think and worry about this. This is going to be an incredibly long day. I already feel tired.
I end up staring at my phone and willing it to ring. It doesn’t, of course, so I’m more disappointed than before. I think back and remember how hot that kiss was. Both of us holding each other close. The way our lips felt together. I’d been more turned on than I’ve ever felt before.
I’d even briefly wished he’d won the bid for something more than just a date, shocking myself. I’ve been saving my virginity for so long, and now I’m suddenly ok with the idea of throwing it at this guy I went on one date with?
But something deep in my gut is just telling me he feels right. He’s just so handsome and irresistible. It doesn’t matter that he has money, I just like being with him. I want to know him more as a person. I want to see him again, but I don’t think that is going to happen. Letting out a sigh, I hug a couch pillow to my chest. I imagine what it would be like if he did call.
I’d rush to answer it. He would ask me out again, like he said. We’d have another romantic night, I’d wear a sexy dress. He wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off of me during dinner.
Afterwards we’d share another moonlit walk, followed by another kiss. It would be so incredibly hot that I would lead him back to my apartment. My heart pounds in my chest as the fantasy unfolds. I want it to be hot, but gentle as well since it’s my first time.
I’d take him by the hand to my room. I’d slip off my dress and would be wearing some sexy lingerie underneath. I don’t own any, but I decide I might have to fix that.