“Don’t sell yourself short, Pim. Don’t sugar-coat how gutted you are. It’s a huge fucking deal.” I cupped her chin, leaning close. “And you’re not the only one it affects. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t tear me up inside. Knowing how much you’re hurting and finally seeing just how perfect you truly are—it kills me. You want a family as much as I do. You want kids as much as….I never dreamed—”
I kissed her.
I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t prevent my tongue from lapping up her salty sadness and doing my damnedest to steal her grief.
She flinched into our kiss, her mouth hesitant to dance with mine. She spoke against my lips. “I’m sorry I can’t give you the family you deserve, El.”
“Bullshit.” Grabbing her from the floor, I tugged her onto my lap. I didn’t care about aches and pinches and pain. She came unwillingly, not because she needed the space but because she eyed up my injuries and bandages and tried to keep from adding more pressure to damaged parts of me with her weight.
Too bad I didn’t give her an option.
I needed her close.
I needed her to truly hear this and believe me because it was the God’s honest truth and would never fucking change.
“Stop fighting me. Sit down.”
Wincing a little as if sharing the agony I lived with, she sank the final way, giving me the privilege of holding her.
Sighing heavily, she whispered, “I didn’t want you to know. I’m sorry for that.”
“First, you need to stop apologising. None of this is your fault.” I kept my feelings about her hiding things locked away. She’d guessed her lies were part of what I struggled with—I didn’t need to enforce her fear that I would flip out or blame her for any part of this.
I never would.
Fucking ever.
Holding her close, I breathed in the sweet scent of her skin. “Second, why didn’t you want me to know?”
“Because I know how highly you hold family and you’ve fallen in love with a girl who can’t give you one.”
Chuckling under my breath, doing my best to scatter the sudden heartbreak she’d caused, I brushed hair behind her ear. “Pimlico…you have given me a family.”
Her eyes widened. “How?”
“You’ve given me you.”
She sucked in a breath. “But—”
“No buts.” Pressing my nose to hers, I whispered, “No one else can give me everything I’ve been missing in one perfect package. You’re it for me. Regardless if we can have children together or not. I don’t need them. Not anymore. Not while I have you.”
This time, she let me kiss her.
She kissed me back.
She let me heal a small part of her while I buried my own pain that we’d always remain a duet instead of a trilogy.
But as she moaned and melted in my arms, something insanely grateful washed through me. Something hot and thick and overwhelming in love and thankfulness for falling head over heels for this girl.
Any problems could be overcome. Any injury could be healed. Any bad news could be solved. But true love—real soul-deep connection…that could never be faked or forged.
Everything else was just white noise compared to that gift.
Pim kissed me harder, looping her arms carefully around my sore shoulders. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too.” I kissed her back, our tongues tangling.
This moment would’ve been perfect but for one thing. One tiny thing such as privacy and personal comfort. I’d had more than I could stand living in someone else’s house.
“We need to go home, little mouse.” I nipped at her bottom lip. “I miss the sea.”
“Home.” She fluttered kisses on my lips. “Yes, let’s go home.”
I needed the ocean.
I needed open spaces.
I needed Pim all to myself to heal these new heartbreak wounds she’d given me.
Chapter Sixteen
______________________________
Pimlico
“WE’RE LEAVING,” ELDER snapped as he guided me (slowly and doing his best not to limp) into the lounge. “Right now.”
Tess and Suzette looked up from the couch with Lino squished between them.
Selix and Franco mimicked each other with crossed arms and spread legs, glowering from their chosen corners of the room. The animosity from the two seconds-in-command ran rife and pungent, thickening the air with violence even as Lino giggled and blew saliva bubbles.
Elder tensed, taking in Selix’s wariness and Franco’s temper at having to share his domain.
I held my breath as I focused more on the two silently fuming males rather than little Lino. The panic attack that’d struck with diabolical persistency left me weak, wobbly, and woefully unprepared to face yet another happy baby cooing moment.
The one blessing in the powder-keg of a room was Q had disappeared.
I hope he stays away until we’re gone.
Tess cleared her throat, standing from the couch. Ignoring Elder’s comment about leaving, she came toward me with shoulders down and hand out-stretched as if coaxing me not to run again.