I swallowed hard as her warm blue eyes hurt for me, apology bright on her face. “Pim, I need to say how sorry I am for—”
“Don’t.” Elder pulled me tighter against him. “I think you and your husband have done enough. Don’t you?”
She flinched, dropping her hand. “You’re right—”
“Don’t you dare talk to my mistress that way.” Franco stepped forward, his body bristling in his immaculate suit. “Disrespect her and you disrespect this house.” He balled his fists. “On second thought. Go right ahead. Insult her. Give me another reason to kick your ass.”
Selix growled, moving toward Elder and me, his breathing harsh and tight. “If anyone is kicking anyone’s ass, it’s me kicking yours.”
“Like fuck it—”
“Boys!” Suzette shouted. Leaping upright with Lino in her arms, she joined Tess in front of me. “No more fighting. There’s been enough of that nonsense already.”
Tess gave her a grateful look then glanced back at me. “I truly am sorry for overstepping. I know Q is, too.”
“It’s okay.” I nodded, hoping I could ease some of her concern. Like Elder, I was ready to leave. The sooner, the better. We’d overstayed our welcome, and we didn’t belong here. Nothing could have proven that better than babies and buildings rather than seagulls and sea.
Despite my need to leave, I didn’t want to be unkind. Tess had gone out of her way to befriend me. The least I could do was ease her mind that it wasn’t her fault I ran away like a freak. “You didn’t cause the panic attack. I’ve had them for a while. A by-product of Al—” I cut myself off. Never again would I utter that bastard’s name. Neither in my head nor out loud. He was dead to me. I was done invoking his hold over me every time I uttered it. “You understand.”
Tess clasped her hands together, fully aware what I meant and what I wouldn’t say. “I do understand, and it’s the truth when I say you’re incredibly strong and I’m in awe of everything you’ve overcome.” Leaning closer, doing her best to whisper so as to avoid Elder’s glare, she added, “If you ever want to talk about anything…the weather, movies, babies or anything else, please feel free to email or call. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I will. And thank you.”
We smiled again as Elder shifted angrily by my side. He held her accountable for my attack, but I didn’t. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t Q’s fault. It wasn’t even my fault. My mind had done such a great job at protecting and shielding me from topics I couldn’t bear to face that it still relied on such crutches. It would take time to slowly trust—to believe I was strong enough. I wouldn’t berate myself for not being perfect just yet.
I’d been drugged and kidnapped and originally hated this place and the people in it, but somehow, in a few short days, I’d come to truly care for them and found comfort I might not have found elsewhere. I still wanted to know Tess’s tale of captivity, but I would happily trade it to be back on the open ocean with Elder.
I was ready to be on our own again and hope to God that the Chinmoku didn’t find us for months or even years. By then, Elder would be in fighting form and his artillery on the Phantom would kill them before they even stepped foot on board.
What are the chances of that coming true? I had a terrible feeling it wouldn’t work that way.
But dreams…they were free, and I’d indulge for now. It was the cost of them becoming real that were sometimes too high.
A maid appeared behind us, hugging my torn red and blue ballgown. “Here. Better not forget this.”
Elder took it from her, tucking it under his arm, blanching a little as another dose of pain administered. “Thank you.”
I repeated his thanks, grateful to have it returned. I plucked the hoodie I wore, looking at Tess. “I can change. Give you these back before we leave.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be silly. They’re yours. Take them.”
“If you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
I’d never been good with goodbyes—not that I’d had many experiences with them—but social niceties had been completed. Therefore, we were free to leave.
Aren’t we?
Elder stood brooding and itching to go beside me, Selix had already inched toward the exit, and there was nothing left to do but step out of their lives.
I sighed in relief and anxiety at what would become of us.
“You’ll say goodbye to Q for me?” I asked. “Tell him I’m sorry for running. It wasn’t him. It’s just a tender topic so soon after—”
“He’ll understand, Pim. He doesn’t deserve your apology.” Elder tucked me close, hugging me equally as hard as the ballgown under his other arm. “Thank you, Mrs Mercer, for allowing me to rest in safety.” He bowed a little, ever the gentleman even as his blood boiled. “I hope to never see you or your husband again.”