High above the earth where Jacob Wild walked, putting miles upon miles between us so I never had to see him and his indifferent face again.
I hated that I’d been so stupid not to use a condom with him. I was on the pill, but the knowledge that some part of him still existed inside me made me furious. I hated that we’d been that intimate. I hated that I’d given in. I hated that I’d given him back his compass.
I should’ve kept it—used it to navigate my own way through this giant catastrophe called life.
I hate him.
I will always, always hate him.
The doctor leaned closer, shining a torch in my eyes.
I cringed away like a vampire in noonday sun. “Hey, ouch.”
He took the light away, inputting something on an e-tablet. “Light sensitivity should fade soon.” He waggled a finger at me. “But just like you need to rest your leg, you need to avoid any exercises or strenuous activities for a week thanks to your minor concussion.”
I laughed under my breath even though it made sickness wash over me. I had a concussion. How ironic.
Was it fate’s cruel joke? I hurt Jacob, so it hurt me?
Don’t think about him.
The space where my heart used to beat was an empty black-hole, sucking up my grief.
I’d done the right thing by cutting him from my life.
But it still hurt worse than anything I’d ever felt.
Including this accident.
“Anyway, you’re all treated, and you have the script for your required pills. Just wait here until your lift arrives, and we’ll see each other for a check-up soon. Okay?” He beamed. “Any questions?”
I shook my head, instantly regretting the painful sloshing. “No.”
“Alrighty. Get better and no more reckless driving.” He moved toward the door.
I smiled thinly. I wasn’t reckless. I was barely going faster than a jog. But I guessed he was right because I shouldn’t have been driving when I could barely see through my tears.
Would the police be after me? What about the rental car? What sort of mess would I face trying to claim insurance?
Think about that another day.
I closed my eyes as the doctor opened and closed the door, leaving me on my own to wallow in bad decisions, worse choices, and a body I’d stupidly broken.
The drugs better kill the pain in my heart as well as my head when they finally started working.
A soft click sounded as the door opened again.
I didn’t bother opening my eyes, preferring to stay in the darkness. “I promised no flying or strenuous activity already. I’ll obey, Dr Jorge.”
“Hello, Hope.”
My eyes soared open, smarting at the light and the fact that Jacob stood at the bottom of my bed.
His shaggy white Bali-blond hair. His hardened dark gaze. His air of perpetual loneliness. He looked the same but different: the boy I’d known since childhood with broad shoulders and brute power to work the land and sea, yet there was something new too.
His eyes were weary and beaten. His body battle-scared and suffering.
He looked as if he’d faced death and lost.
He wasn’t someone I knew anymore.
Rage slithered through my bloodstream, making my leg ache and cast tighten and concussion throb. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He flinched like a broken man. “Your father called.”
“That’s just great.” I snorted. “Wonderful. Uh-huh, just what I need. You showing up when I never wanted to see you again. Just go away, okay? I don’t need you. In fact, I want you gone.”
What had my father been thinking?
He disliked Jacob as much as I hated him.
How dare he put me in this position!
Rage was a good antidote to my misery. The misery that cloaked and cradled, reaching out with wet fingers to touch the boy I didn’t know.
Even in my hate, I wanted him.
Even in my rage, I needed him.
And that hurt me the most because my heart should be mine to command, not his to bury.
“Go away.”
He merely shook his head and moved to the side of my bed, his hand landing on the white sheet so, so close to where my own fingers played with the blankets.
For the longest second, we stared.
Electricity surged and pulsed along my skin. My stomach quaked as Jacob killed me all over again.
I sucked in a ragged breath as his pinkie grazed mine.
We jolted; the electricity in the air completed its circuit, burning us, searing us together.
He licked his lips, and his barriers came down. Everything he ever was and pretended not to be blazed for me to see.
The truth.
The honesty.
The end.
He revealed a boy who’d lost more than he could cope with. A man who’d fought to be free of such pain.
And I didn’t want to see anymore.
I pulled away, swallowing against a great ball of sadness. “Leave me alone, Jacob.”
His breath caught, his voice hitched, and the tell-tale sign of grief roughened his tone. “If you still want me to go after I’ve said what I need, I’ll go. No questions asked.”