“Just go now,” I whispered. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”
“Please, Hope.” His pinkie kissed mine again.
I jerked my hand away.
He shook his head with a sad smirk, deeply desolate. “I just lied. I have no intention of going anywhere…even if you yell and scream at me, I’m not leaving.”
My eyes narrowed. “You don’t have a choice.”
“I do. I do have a choice.”
“You threw that choice away when you left me in Bali.”
His head hung, contrition and regret painting every bone and muscle. “I know.”
My lower lip wobbled as I fought back anger. “You got your wish. You’re free of me.”
His eyes snapped to mine. “I’ll never be free of you. I don’t want to be free of you.”
Stop it!
“I don’t care anymore. I want to be free of you. So just walk out that door and do what you’re so good at doing.” I leaned forward, bracing myself on the bed. “Run away, Jacob Wild. Run away.”
I expected him to rise to my challenge. To fight my anger with his own. Instead, he stayed calm, his voice slipping into a soft murmur. “I deserved that. I deserve everything you have to say to me.”
“Everything, huh? How about I’ll never forgive you for leaving me? For sleeping with me when I begged you not to? For flying away without even saying goodbye?”
“I was wrong. I was an idiot.”
“Idiot is too light a word for what you are.”
He nodded. “True again. How about imbecile? That has a nice ring to it.”
I crossed my arms. “What are you doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you agreeing with me?”
“Because you’re right. And I’m wrong.”
“Since when?”
“Since now.”
I huffed. I hated that I was in bed, unable to run away from him. “I’m not playing this game with you. Just leave me alone.”
“You want me to leave you alone after you’ve made me fall madly in love with you?” He pressed against the steel frame of my mattress. “I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen.” He sat on the edge of the bed, scooting my cast over to make room for his size. “I’m not leaving you ever again, and you sure as hell aren’t leaving me.”
My body locked down.
Did he just say he’s in love with me?
When I didn’t speak, Jacob murmured, “Leaving you in Bali was the worst thing I’ve ever done. I regretted it instantly, but my heart…it stopped working the moment I heard about Grandpa John.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m not telling you this to excuse my behaviour. I’m not seeking your forgiveness. I’m telling you this because you deserve to know. Deserve to know that I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for years, but I’ve been too weak to admit it.”
I couldn’t breathe.
This was too much. This wasn’t him. It wasn’t real. My concussion played tricks on me. The drugs were hallucinogenic. “Wha-what did you just say?”
He stole my hand, holding it tight with dry, masculine strength. “You heard me.”
“I—” I closed my eyes, ears ringing. “I don’t understand.”
“What’s not to understand?” He squeezed my fingers as I tried to wriggle free. “I love y—”
“Stop saying that.” I tore my hand free, wiping it on the sheets as if he’d contaminated me with whatever illness he suffered from. “I don’t know what’s going on, but this isn’t real.”
“It’s real. I’m real. And I’m telling you I’m in—”
“Stop!” I pressed my temples. “I can’t handle this. I need you to leave. Can you do that? If you truly love me, you’ll leave me alone.”
He smiled softly, kindly—with more emotion and love than I’d ever seen. It transformed him from temperamental loner to brave friend.
A friend who loves me.
“It’s because I love you that I have no intention of walking out that door.”
“Why?”
“Why won’t I leave you?”
“No, why do you love me? Why now? Because you think that’s what I want to hear? That I deliberately did this to myself to force such a declaration?” I glowered. “I had an accident. That’s all. It’s nothing to do with you.”
“I love you, Hope Jacinta Murphy. I love you because I’ve run out of reasons why I shouldn’t.”
“That sounds as if you’re angry about it.”
“I am.” He nodded. “I’m terrified. But it doesn’t mean I can change it or that I want to. It’s done.” His eyes burned into mine. “So I hope you’ve enjoyed your little hospital stay because it’s the last time you’ll ever be away from me.”
I looked at the closed door, contemplating if I should scream for my doctor. To demand he remove this crazy person from my bedside.
The tug to believe in this fantasy grew stronger.
The hope that this might be true crippled me to give in.
But I couldn’t.
I’d given in far too many times.
I’d loved Jacob too painfully to do it again.