I nod. “Okay, that sounds good. Kids are flexible,” I parrot, engaging the fake it ‘til you make it methodology. “Act like it’s no big deal.”
She nudges my elbow, asking the million-dollar question. “It is, though, isn’t it? A big deal? Inquiring minds want to know.” She looks so hopeful, her hands folded beneath her chin, begging for details.
I take a big breath, knowing that saying the words to her will make it so. It’s the truth, but admitting it is major, especially when it’s all so fresh and new. I’m not even sure what label I’m slapping on this, but it’s more than I thought it’d be. “It’s a big deal,” I say on a blissed-out sigh. “And not just his dick, which I don’t appreciate your staring at,” I admonish her. Even to my ears, I sound possessive. I might as well be grunting ‘don’t look—mine, mine, mine.’
She doesn’t look the least bit remorseful. “Like you wouldn’t have looked.” She leans back, checking down the hall. “Do you want me to take Cooper for a bit longer? I can if you need me to, but just for a little bit. I got called into work and Liam’s already at the sitter’s house.”
I shake my head, wishing I could have a few more minutes in this fantasy with Bruce but knowing it’s time to face reality. “It’s fine. Go to work and I’ll handle this . . .” I wave my hands around, indicating the now cold eggs and the two guys down the hall. “I have no idea how, but I’ll manage.”
She kisses my cheek, gleefully dancing around a bit with a silent squeal of delight, and then the door closes behind her. I turn to the stove, splitting the two servings of eggs into three and putting them in the microwave. It’s not the best way to eat them, but I suspect breakfast is going to be awkward enough that I won’t taste them anyway.
I set the three plates on the table and then realize it’s presumptuous. Maybe Bruce won’t want to stay? He might want to get the hell out of here after getting caught unaware this morning. Or maybe I should have him go so I can do this on my own? I don’t know if that’s the right thing, either.
The decision’s made for me, though, when both Bruce and Cooper come back into the kitchen together, both in jeans. At least everyone’s dressed now. Well, I’m not, but I can pretend this is a regular nightgown. It’s certainly long enough, reaching halfway down my thighs. “Breakfast is served.”
As they sit down, I look between them. Do I deal with Cooper or Bruce first? I mean, obviously, Cooper is my priority, my number-one always, but what do I even say to him when I don’t have any real clarity from Bruce?
As my mind races, they both look cool as cucumbers, though. Dare I say zero fucks given? Well, about Bruce. I wouldn’t cuss, not even in my head, about Cooper. But he does seem fine.
“Where’d you get the bear, Cooper?” Bruce asks, shoving an entire slice of bacon in his mouth.
Cooper grabs one too. “Ms. Michelle took Liam and me to the arcade and I played skee-ball. I got four 462 tickets. The bear was 450 so I had plenty.” He sounds so proud of himself, which makes me inordinately happy too.
My mom mode kicks in, glad for the distraction from the elephant in the room. “So 462 tickets minus the 450 for the bear left you with how many?”
He quickly does the math in his head, his fingers not moving at all, and answers, “Twelve. Come on, Mom, that’s too easy.”
His sass is strong, letting me know how easy that was for him. He’s getting so big. But is he mature enough to handle this thing between Bruce and me? Am I?
“Thank you again, honey. That really was so sweet.” He smiles at me and then looks over to Bruce for approval too. Bruce smiles and even winks at him, so fast I think I imagined it. It’s only the glow on Cooper’s face that lets me know it was real.
Cooper looks up to Bruce so much, as a coach and as a role model. Admittedly, there’s a tiny sliver of me that feels left out of that, but I know this is one of the reasons I signed Cooper up for football in the first place. He needs that positive male presence in his life, even as I try to be everything he needs.
And Bruce . . . a boy could do a lot worse, and not much better, in having him as a role model.
“So, are you two like boyfriend and girlfriend now?” Cooper asks as he carefully spreads jelly on his toast.