She grew uncomfortable again. “Yes, everything is fine.”
I was terrible at these kinds of interactions, but I could tell something was off. Her behavior was different. She wasn’t soft, transparent. “Baby, are you sure? Because I feel like—”
“I’m fine, Deacon,” she said quickly. “Really.”
I wanted to believe her, but I couldn’t. Something was wrong. If it were something else, I could let it go. But if it were her health or her life, it would torture me until I got to the truth. I could technically access her medical records even though that was a huge violation, but that would be such a breach of trust that I would never forgive myself. “Look, I lost my father to cancer, and I see a lot of patients of all ages who get sick. I know it’s none of my business and I’m sorry for pressing, but I need to know you’re okay. Please tell me you’re okay.”
Instead of growing angrier, she slowly softened, starting with her eyes and then the rest of her body. “I’m perfectly healthy, Deacon. There’s nothing wrong.”
I saw the sincerity in her eyes and knew she told the truth, that she wasn’t sick, that she wasn’t carrying some illness she was too scared to tell me about. I released a deep sigh, grateful that I was overreacting. “Alright.” I pulled out my chair and sat down.
Derek came into the dining room. “Hey, Cleo.” He gave her a quick hug as he passed.
She ran her fingers through his hair as she smiled down at him. “Hey, honey. How was school?”
“Awesome.” He crawled into the chair across from her and then looked down at his food. “No pizza?”
I shook my head. “There will never be pizza.”
He sighed and clumsily cut into his chicken with the child’s knife he used.
Cleo smiled at him before she sat down and started to eat. “How do you like Patricia?”
“She’s nice,” Derek said. “I like her.”
“Good,” Cleo said. “She is really nice.”
“She’s a lot nicer than Mom,” Derek said, moving his food around with his fork.
That made me sad, that someone we’d hired off the street was better than his own mother. That didn’t make me feel better about Cleo’s hire. It made me feel terrible. After dinner, I would talk to him about Valerie’s departure, which was tomorrow. I’d put it off until the last minute because I’d been dreading it.
“Did Mom already leave?” He cut into a piece of meat and placed it in his mouth.
I stilled at his question, trying to figure out exactly what he meant by that. “What do you mean?”
“I know Mom is moving.” He kept eating his dinner like this news didn’t bother him, like he’d known as long as we did.
Had he overheard Cleo and me talking? That didn’t seem possible. “How do you know that?”
He shrugged. “I hear Mom and Jake talk about it all the time.”
Now I’d completely lost my appetite. I’d been overjoyed when Cleo told me she was healthy, but now that happiness instantly disappeared. I felt a lot of emotions at once, but what I felt the most was anger. Valerie talked about her plans so nonchalantly, careless to his sensitive ears.
Cleo stopped eating too, staring at Derek like she didn’t know what to say.
I guess we would have this conversation now, not later. “Derek, what exactly did your mother say?”
“Something about moving to Landan,” he said as he pushed his food around.
“London,” I corrected.
“Yeah,” Derek said. “That place.”
“Well…” Fuck, what did I say? “That’s true. She is moving.”
Derek kept eating, his head down.
“You’ll stay here and live with me full time.” In my heart, I knew this was better for him. Even though I worked a lot, I would give him a better life, a more colorful childhood. I actually enjoyed spending time with him, doing things with him. I could help him with his homework, his science projects, anything he needed. “I’ll always be here. Cleo too. And we also have Patricia. Grandma and Uncle Tucker are just down the road.”
“I know,” he said. “We can go to the cabin all the time, go the planetarium, go to the beach house…”
He seemed to be taking this really well. “Derek.”
He kept eating.
“Derek, look at me.”
He dropped his fork and raised his chin.
“Your mother may be moving, but she still loves you. You know that, right?” It didn’t matter if it was true or not. Valerie had shown her true colors. But it was better for Derek to believe she did.
“Yeah,” he answered.
“And you know you always have me and Cleo.”
He nodded. “When you left, I knew you still loved me.”
It wasn’t the same, but he didn’t understand that.
“But this is what I wanted,” Derek said. “Mom makes you sad. She makes me sad too.”
I was angry with Valerie for leaving, but maybe I shouldn’t be. Maybe I should be thanking her for stepping aside. “Yeah?”