Fortuity (Transcend 3)

“Can I name it?”

I chuckle. “Name what?”

“The baby?”

I lift an eyebrow. “What baby?”

She rolls her eyes and sighs. “Fine.” Her fingers move across her lips like a zipper. “What baby?”

I wink. “Exactly.”

“Did you get Joby out of the backseat? Did Grandma and Grandpa go home? My stuff is still at their house.”

“They’re outside. You’re going back there for the night.”

“But you’re home.”

I stand. “Yes. But I need some more time to talk about things with Gracelyn. Tomorrow afternoon, after you go swimming, I’ll come get you and Joby, and we’ll show Gracelyn our favorite things here in Madison.”

“Fine.” She jumps off her bed and grabs her swimsuit from her closet.

“Hey …” I stop her before she opens her bedroom door. Cupping her face, I smile. “I love you to infinity. And no matter what happens, I will be honest with you. Okay?”

She wraps her arms around my waist. “Love you too, Daddy.”

Daddy …

I follow her out to the kitchen. Gracelyn still has on my shirt, but she’s put her shorts on too.

Morgan runs to her and gives her another hug. She doesn’t say anything. She just hugs her. Gracelyn’s lips part and her eyes lift to meet my gaze. I don’t miss the tears in them.

For a second, maybe two, I let my mind go there. I imagine going from two to five. And I like it.

“Goodnight!” Morgan calls as she runs to the door.

“Night, baby.”

Gracelyn quickly wipes her eyes and adds the pasta to the boiling water. When she turns, I pull her into my embrace.

“Why did she leave?”

“Because we have more to say.” My hands slide down to her ass. “We have more to do.”

She presses her lips to my sternum. “What are we doing?” she whispers.

“Living. We’re living.” I kiss her head.

*

Wow! Gracelyn can cook. Really cook.

I devour two plates of pasta with her homemade sauce that she threw together without following a recipe. We clean the kitchen, take a walk, and end up in my big soaker tub a little before midnight.

“Transcend …” she says, leaning her head back against my shoulder as I feather my fingers over her sternum that’s just above the thin layer of suds. “Was it hard to really believe? To wrap your head around the idea that the young friend you lost at such a young age was … at least in part … inside the body of the woman you hired to be Morgan’s nanny?”

“Yes and no. Reincarnation wasn’t a stretch for my mind. It was the fact that it was someone I knew.”

She nods, rubbing her lips together. “Brandon spoke to me. I heard his voice. I only told a few people, and when I did, I always made sure they knew that I knew it wasn’t really him … like a ghost. Just his voice in my head. But it wasn’t. I believe it was him. It was too real. Do you think that’s crazy?”

I slide my hand down her breast to her stomach. “No.”

“Did you think you loved Swayze? Not the part of her that was Daisy, but the young college graduate. The woman who spent so much time taking care of Morgan. Did you start to think you were falling in love with her? Did the lines blur?”

“Yes, but it was a toxic combination of missing my wife, seeing Morgan in the arms of a nurturing woman, and all the elements of her that did feel like my friend.”

“I cried so many times. Not just the loss you experienced. I cried when you let Swayze go. When you said, ‘I think a part of you will be mine to love in every life.’ God … I just bawled. I also cried when you were so candid with Morgan about life and death. When you let her feel emotional pain—when you didn’t try to take it away because you said she will never know true happiness if she doesn’t let the pain into her heart. You told her the most beautiful rainbows come from the harshest storms.”

“Yeah …” I chuckle. “That’s not scientifically true. She went through a big rainbow and unicorn phase, so I worked with what I had at the time.”

She eases her body the other way, careful to not splash water out of the tub. I take her foot and rub it as she settles at the opposite end.

“You’re a beautiful man. But … I don’t have the words to describe how you are as a dad. I’m not sure the words exist. Watching you with her … reading your words … I’m speechless. And the idea of having a baby with you, it, too, leaves me speechless.”

I smile. She leaves me speechless … breathless. “More …” I sit up and run my hands along the outside of her legs. “You have to wonder. I know I would. I did wonder, until that day in the rain when you let the bracelet drop to the ground … when you let it disappear without giving it a single glance because you were too busy seeing me. So the answer is more. I love you more than I loved Daisy.”