This Regret

He laughs softly, his warm breath tickling my ear. “You didn’t ruin my night,” he breathes. “Trust me, Phoenix.” He unwraps his arm from around me and shifts in his seat. His hands grip my hips, causing the stiffness of his penis to dig into my crotch. It’s definitely hard now, making my whole body shake with pleasure and my thighs to get moist. It feels big and thick against my body and he doesn’t seem ashamed to show it. A part of me almost thinks he’s enjoying this. That makes me want to panic even more and I swear if he moves one more time I’m going to have a damn orgasm just from my thoughts.

After adjusting me to the position he wants, he wraps his arms back around my waist and pulls me backwards so my back is pressed against his chest. “Just close your eyes and relax. Think of the good times.”

He turns up the music and I find my eyes closing, and a smile tugging at my lips when I hear the most beautiful song ever. Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Somehow, this song always manages to take my breath away. I gasp as I get lost in the lyrics.

I feel Kellan’s breath against my ear before he whispers, “Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Spilling the truth, I admit, “This song is the most beautiful song in the world to me. I would kill to have a man sing this to me and propose. I would fall in love for the rest of my life.”

His breath quickens, but he doesn’t say anything else. Just holds me tighter as we listen to the lyrics.

We sit there in silence for at least thirty minutes, who knows, maybe even longer, before he finally drives me to my car.

Right as I’m about to get out, he stops me and hands me my purse. I take it and grip it in my hand. “Thanks.”

He leans across me and opens the truck door before turning to face me and cupping my right cheek in his hand. He leans in close to my face and clenches his jaw. “If you need me for anything, anything at all, get ahold of me. I don’t care what time of day it is. Do you hear me?”

I nod my head while trying with everything in me to keep from leaning forward and pressing my lips against his. They look so soft and inviting and I want nothing more than to get a taste. Just one taste of him and maybe I could die a happy woman.

“Okay, good.” He leans in closer almost as if he’s about to kiss me. His eyes trail down to my lips and I can feel his heart hammering against my arm, until suddenly he turns away, leaving my insides cold and my body wanting him. “Have a good night.”

I swallow hard and wipe my sweaty palms over my shorts. “You too, Kellan. Be safe.”

I step down and carefully make my way out of his truck and down to the ground before shutting the door behind me. He waits for me to safely get into my car and start it before nodding and driving away.

Sitting there in my car, I grip the steering wheel and lean my head against the back of the seat. This boy has no idea what he’s doing to me and all of the things I want to be doing to him. No one makes me feel this way. No one but him. It’s always been him.

When I get home, I spend the next hour, tossing and turning in bed and am just about to finally fall asleep when my phone goes off from a text message. I reach over to the table and grab my phone, expecting it to be Kade. My heart instantly reacts to the name that flashes across my screen. Surprisingly, it’s not Kade, but the last person I ever expected it to be. He put his name get in my phone?

Kellan: Oh, by the way . . . I programmed my number in case you miss me.

Phoenix: Like I said, still a smart ass. Goodnight, Kellan.

Kellan: Goodnight. Oh, and I left you a gift in your purse. Now go to sleep and dream of me ;) You’ll be sure to have . . . happy dreams.

A pathetic smile spreads across my face as I set my phone back down and close my eyes. I knew that jerk would find a way to slip his tip money in my purse. Now, I will be thinking of him all night and fantasizing about the dreams I only hope to have.

So much for getting sleep . . .

Chapter Ten

Phoenix

I am woken from my light sleep by a screeching noise coming from somewhere within my small apartment. The sound is absolutely awful.

“What the hell is that? Make it stop!”

Throwing the sheet off me, I jump up and slide my fingers through my hair, searching the room around me. It only takes a few seconds before I hear it again. It almost sounds as if someone is dragging a suitcase over tile flooring, but instead of using the wheels, they're using only half a damn wheel and that half a wheel is broken, unfortunately.

Is someone seriously in my house right now? The sun hasn’t even come up and it can’t be any later than four in the morning. Please tell me this is a dream inside of a dream and I’m going to wake up five hours from now happy and peaceful. I only managed to fall asleep about an hour ago and even then, I wasn’t even quite asleep. This is really going to put a damper on my day.

“Zoe, help me with these bags.”

Okay, no. That is definitely my mother’s voice and in my house. Not exactly what I want to be hearing right now, and bags. What bags?

I throw my robe on in a panic and hastily make my way down the hallway and into the kitchen. The bright light hurts, causing me to throw my hand over my face and blink a few times to adjust. The little glimpse I did get was just enough to see my mother and my sister along with bags and suitcases full of their belongings.

“Whoa, guys. What is all this noise about?” I pull my hand away from my eyes and weakly lean against the counter for support, still half-asleep. This cannot be a good thing and now, I’m not so sure I even want to know what they’re doing here this early in the morning for. “It’s like four a.m.” I grab one of the bags and hold it up, examining the picture of some young, cute boy on it. Definitely has to be Zoe’s bag, filled with her clothes, I’m guessing. “What is all this? Please tell me this isn’t what I think it is,” I whisper.

My mother and Zoe both just stand there staring off in some kind of zombie like state, until finally, Zoe yanks the bag out of my hand and makes her way past me. “I’m going to sleep on the couch. It is way too early for this crap and I can’t stand to look at her anymore. She’s ruined my life. I cannot believe this is happening.”

“Zoe!” My mother reaches out for her arm even though she’s too far away and already making her way over to the couch. “I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she says weakly.