This Regret

Just as I’m about to make my move, Aiden comes up behind me, brushing my hair behind my ear, pressing his body against mine. I pull my shoulder up to meet my ear, uncomfortable with him touching me, so he backs away without a word.

Two beers later and one shot of Jack in, the game is almost over and it's down to just the eight ball for him. I stand here staring at the eight ball as if I can control where it goes. Do I want him to make it? I can't tell just yet. He's been giving me flirty little smiles all night and I have a feeling, I might let him just for the fun of it.

Kade's been staring at us most the night, giving us dirty looks. I can't tell if he's mad I'm with someone else other than him or someone else other than Kellan. I don't get him, but if he wants to keep making me feel like crap, then why not. I've got quite the buzz going on anyways. The first time I've been slightly happy in over two weeks.

"Steady," I tease. "You're going to miss that. Your arm is shaking."

Aiden turns away from the table to look at me. "That's because I've been wanting to kiss you all night."

I feel my stomach knot up hearing the words actually come from his mouth. I used to love those soft lips. Maybe I could again if I just try. I shake my head to myself. Nah, there's no way. I try to convince myself, but with each drink of beer, he becomes more and more tempting.

"Then take your shot," I dare. "I'll let you, only if you make this shot. This might just be your only chance." I smile at him.

Taking a swig of his beer, he smiles back and prepares for the shot. It seems to go in slow motion as the eight ball slowly sinks into the left corner pocket.

Like a man on a mission, he sets the cue stick down and runs his tongue over his lips, wetting them. He moves closer to me, reaches out to grab my hips but then stops.

Okay. Well that's a little strange. "What's the problem, Aiden? Am I suddenly not kissable," I ask teasingly. “I promise not to bite . . .”

I feel the heat of someone's body behind me, causing me to stiffen. Then my eyes close and my breath hitches as I feel warm breath on the side of my neck. The smell. Oh God, that smell. Whoever smells just like Kellan can just take me now. I swear, I'll keep my eyes closed. I'm buzzed enough to pretend. I think.

An arm wraps around my waist, resting a hand on my stomach before I feel lips just under my ear. I feel the coolness of metal rubbing against my flesh and my sex clenches with no effort at all. "You are very kissable." Soft lips crush my neck and I gasp. "You are so f**king beautiful I can't go a day without looking at you and the only one you’ll be biting is me."

My body trembles under his touch and my legs almost give out on me. This cannot be happening. It has to be the shot. It's the shot. Am I that drunk?

I feel the lips again as a hand tightens around my waist, pulling me against a body. My heart flutters. I'm definitely not drunk. Those lips would sober me up enough even if I were in a drunken coma.

"Kellan," I whisper.

A set of firm hands spin me around and my br**sts smash into a firm chest as a hand slides up the side of my face before tugging my hair passionately. "I've missed you so damn much, baby." His thumb rubs circles over my cheek as I stare in awe.

How is it possible he has gotten more beautiful than the last time I saw him? His hair is wind-blown and messy from him running his fingers through it and his jaw is lined with the perfect five o'clock shadow. Everything about him from his worn out fitted jeans, snug white shirt with piercings pressed against the fabric and old Converse shoes turn me on. He's a walking f**king orgasm and I hate him for it. I want to scream at him for hurting me and making me want him all over again.

"What are you doing here?" I find myself pulling away even though I want nothing more than to be in his arms. “Do you think I'm just supposed to forget everything you did to me?”

Aiden takes a step closer to me and places a hand on my arm, protectively. Too bad for him, protecting me from Kellan is the last thing he’ll be able to do. "You want me to take you home? We can leave now."

Kellan's hand grabs my waist, pulling me against his body as his other hand presses against Aiden's chest, separating us. "Listen here, Aiden. Put your hands on my f**king woman again and I will kill you. Never touch what is mine. Understood?"

I look back and forth as the boys square off, looking each other dead in the eyes. At least, Kellan is looking Aiden in the eyes. Aiden keeps losing contact, looking a bit nervous. I feel bad for him, but so turned on by Kellan at the same time. Is that bad? Man, this is confusing.

I get so lost in them, it takes me a second to realize he called me his. Wait! What? He takes off leaving me alone, but I'm his. That makes no sense.

I pull Kellan's hand away from Aiden's chest and back away from his grip. He's only going to hurt me again. I know it. I can't let that happen. I won't.

"I'm not yours, Kellan. You left. Remember?" I hate myself for the words that keep spilling from my mouth, but I'm mad and hurt. I told him I loved him and he left. He just left as if what we had meant nothing to him. “You had your chance and now . . . it’s too late.”

I grab my purse and walk closer to Aiden, grabbing his shirt to pull him along. "Let's go!" I yell. "I can't be here right now. I need to get out of here.”

"You can't leave with him!" Kellan runs up beside me and cups my face in his hands, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "I need you to stay with me. Please, don't go. I should have begged you before; I didn't, but I am now. I can’t lose you, Phoenix. Please give me one more chance." His eyes soften and I find myself falling to my knees in front of him, his pleas making me weak. I can’t do this. I can’t fight against the one person I love with all my heart. I just can’t. I've seen how my life is without him. I'm miserable.

He drops down on his knees in front of me and scoots closer to me so our bodies are touching and his hands are caressing my face. "I don't want to go another day without holding you. I can't f**king do it and I won't." He swallows hard and dips his head, looking at me through wet lashes. "I have never wanted to spend more than one day with a woman, but I have spent every day wanting to spend one more day with you." He licks his lips, wetting them and my heart stops dead in my chest. "I f**king love you, Phoenix. I love you so much it hurts. Just the thought of breathing is too much for me to take on if it doesn't involve you by my side. From now on, every breath, every beat of my heart and every tear I'll ever shed will be for you. I want to give you everything. You own me. My heart and soul is yours. I can't imagine a world without me being yours. I only left because I thought I was protecting you. I realized being gone that I can only truly protect you being by your side." He smiles and looks down at his jeans. "Besides, I already told you, you'd be the only one to take my clothes off. I sort of really need you now."