Maddox was sure he’d spoken to Grey about his mother over the years, but it wasn’t often, which explained the curiosity shining in Grey’s expression.
“Yesterday I went and visited my father,” Maddox explained, staring down at the photograph of his mother. He discovered he looked a lot like her. Same hair color, same eyes even, only she was far more feminine than him with soft features. “Of course, my father didn’t know it was me,” Maddox added to Grey, “but he began telling me a story about the love of his life and how he’d wronged her enough that she left him.”
Grey glanced over the documents on the table with a frown before looking up at Maddox again. “That’s not what he told you before, right?”
Maddox shook his head, ran his hands over his face, and drew in a deep breath before answering, “I can only recall him ever talking about her once. I think I was six, maybe, and had asked about her. He told me that she’d left us. He never explained to me why, or why she hadn’t come back.”
“Did he tell you why she left when you saw him yesterday?” Grey asked.
Maddox picked up the driver’s license photo of his mother that he’d gotten from the DMV. Lilianna Hunt was a beautiful woman but appeared haunted, troubled. Even now, Maddox swore he could see the pain of her life in her face, especially her eyes. He stared into them now, as he began explaining what his father had told him yesterday.
By the time he was finished, Grey’s mouth was set in a firm line. “I suppose that gives a reason for why she left,” he offered.
Maddox nodded. “It does.” And while that fulfilled the little question inside him—how does a mother leave her child?—the part of his soul where a mother’s love should be, remained cold. “But it’s the reason she never came back that’s far more interesting.”
“What reason is that?” Grey asked.
Maddox picked up the police report in front of him that he’d printed off, offering it to Grey.
Grey’s eyes scanned over the document then his gaze returned to Maddox in a flash. “Fuck, man. She died?”
Maddox bobbed his head, wishing that hadn’t been the case. There’d been many times over the years that he nearly considered looking into her. He had the means to at the station, but he’d always stopped himself, thinking she wanted nothing to do with him. “Honestly, I didn’t think the old man was telling the truth when he told me yesterday.” Because he didn’t think his father would ever lie to him. Their relationship had been good, tight. His father had been there for every football and baseball game. An honorable, good cop, Maddox had been proud to be his son. This didn’t make him proud. “From what I’ve seen, it appears he was right—she died a week after she left, while she was out looking for an apartment to raise me.”
Grey read the report detailing the accident again and then shook his head in obvious disbelief. “I don’t understand why your father would keep this from you.”
“Shame,” Maddox offered the only thing he could come up with. And he’d considered every option out there. “From what he said, he felt responsible for her death. I can only imagine that he didn’t want to upset me.”
“Or he didn’t want to face the truth himself.” Grey tossed the paper back onto the coffee table. “I guess that explains why you look so torn up. Have you even slept?”
“Not much.” Maddox dropped his head and ran his hands through his hair, trying to get ahead of this. “I wondered from time to time why she never came back or even checked in on me.” He lifted his head, looking at the one person who’d always been a constant in his life. “I couldn’t wrap my head around what kind of mother would do that?”
“A terrible one,” Grey muttered.
“Exactly, but was she so terrible?” Maddox rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension in his muscles. “Or have I punished the wrong person my entire life?” All night long and into the early morning, he remembered all the times he’d cursed his mother when he was younger. He remembered the time in his teens when he’d decided he didn’t need her or any woman for that matter. And he vividly recalled the time he’d decided not to live in the pursuit of love but put his career above his personal life. Though without his mother as the enemy, those choices would have never been made. “Fuck, I don’t even know why I’m thinking about all this shit. It’s in the past. It’s done.”
“Oh, I know why you’re up in arms,” said Grey, leaning back in his seat, resting his ankle on his opposite knee. “It’s because when you start questioning yourself about your mother, you start wondering why you haven’t made the sweet lady in your life a little more permanent.”