“This isn’t about Joss, it’s about my mom,” Maddox bit off, rising to his feet. He moved to the window, staring out into the cloudy day.
“Bullshit,” Grey countered. “Why do you think I’ve been razzing you?”
Maddox snorted, not looking back at his friend. “Because you enjoy irritating me.”
“Well, yeah, I do,” Grey said with a soft chuckle. “Regardless, I’m saying she’s getting under your skin because she can, and that’s never happened to you before. She’s different. You’re different with her.”
Maddox snorted again, then he turned to Grey. “What are you, my therapist?”
Grey didn’t even flinch, holding his stare intently. “We’re as close as brothers, Maddox. I know you, and I know what this woman is doing to you, even if you don’t want to accept it.”
Maddox knew he’d typically shut down here, ignore what Grey had to say to him, and tell him to fuck off. Instead, today, for whatever reason, he couldn’t. Everything was different, and he couldn’t get a handle on anything. “Regardless of what you think might be going on, the conversation is pointless. Joss ended it.”
“When?”
“A couple days ago.”
Grey’s eyebrows began to narrow, voice growing hard. “What did you do?”
“How do you know it’s something I did?”
Grey arched an eyebrow.
Maddox scoffed, retuning to stare out the window. “Who’s at fault is beside the point. It’s done. Over.”
“Of course, who is at fault matters,” Grey said, “because if it were your fault—which I’m sure it was—then you can fix it.”
A bird soared by the window, and Maddox watched it fly high in the sky. “I can’t fix it. She realized I can’t be the man she needs.”
“She said that?” Grey asked, his voice incredulous.
Maddox glanced over his shoulder, finding Grey’s expression incredulous too. “Not in so many words.”
Grey frowned, his eyes narrowed, thoughtful, before he said, “Listen, I saw her that night at the bar when I told her you’d left. She’s a good girl who’s listening to you because you told her not to care about you. But she does. That can’t be faked.”
Maddox turned back to the window and shoved his hands into his pockets, staring out at the trees waving in the wind. “Her caring about me isn’t the issue.” He knew she cared. She’d told him as much. This wasn’t so much about her, as it was about him. “I know there’s something between us.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
Maddox sighed, not sure how to answer Grey. The words seemed too complicated to even explain. His life as he’d known it had shifted, taking a new direction. He lived by logic. He’d made choices for his life because of his past. Relationships were trouble…that was what he knew. Women were difficult…that was what he’d seen. Those were the things he had known and experienced in his life. He had made rules: Don’t date. Don’t love.
That was the way he lived.
Now… “Nothing looks the same, Grey,” he admitted, not only to his friend but also to himself. “Nothing feels the same.” He paused. Then, still staring out the window, he added, “It’s all fucking different now.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“She’s making me want things I’ve never wanted before. Christ, I fucking miss her. I don’t know what I’m doing without her. How is that not a bad thing?”
A pause. Then, “Man up, you fucking baby.”
Maddox glanced over his shoulder. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me,” Grey said, slowly rising from his seat, expression tight. “First, you whine about how you shouldn’t have touched her. Then, you’re lucky enough to get to be with that beautiful, sweet woman, not once, but a handful of times, and you’re still fucking whining.”
“Grey,” Maddox warned.
He stepped forward, eyes narrowed into slits. “You’ve got this great girl who’s cool as shit. She’s not clingy. She’s perfectly happy accepting the dipshit that you are. And instead of going and loving the hell out of her, you’re sitting here with me, whining about missing her. Want me to get you some diapers or a bottle, maybe a blankie so I can tuck you in for naptime?”
Maddox’s glare deepened. “Please, Grey, tell me what you really think.”
Grey stepped closer, nearly nose-to-nose with Maddox, and did exactly that. “You’ve learned that your mother, who you thought had abandoned you, didn’t. You can’t fall on that crutch anymore to avoid getting close to this girl, who, from the way I see it, is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you.”