Jesus, babies had it rough!
Curling her legs up beside her, Jose twisted slightly so that her head was on my shoulder, and she was tucked under the arm that I had along the back of the couch. Moving it down so that it was around her shoulders, I leaned down so that my chin was on top of her head and breathed out the stress from the day. It was such a natural move, like we’d done it a million times, and even with a strand of her hair tickling my nose I’d happily do it a million more.
I enjoyed the peace for a couple of minutes, and I hated to break it, but I needed to talk to her about what had happened. “Jose?”
“Hmm?”
“About tonight…”
I didn’t get to finish my sentence because she lifted her head up and looked at me. I expected her to look wary or upset, but she had an excited smile on her face. “Wasn’t it awesome?”
I’d known she wasn’t hugely upset by what had happened when she hadn’t burst into tears or lost her shit over it in the car, but this? “Come again?”
Sitting up and pulling her feet under her, she did a little maneuver that ended with her facing me. “Seriously, you don’t think it was awesome? I mean, I was like a gladiator but with words. People here are so nice and all, but you just know there’s someone out there who’s gaslighting you, you just didn’t know who. Tonight, I got to tackle whoever was doing it, while also putting your ex in her big, liar pants place.”
“Gaslighting?”
“You don’t know what that is?” she asked, tilting her head in confusion when I just shook my head. “It happens all the time on social media these days and is one of the main forms of bullying. Basically, let’s say you were to update your status saying that you’d damaged ligaments in your hand tattooing and that you were going to have surgery. Then, someone, or even a group of them, starts questioning it behind your back, and goes around telling people that you’re lying. They then ask you pointed questions about it, saying things as if they know what they’re talking about medically, and you start to question if you’ve gotten it right. That’s gaslighting, it’s like a psychological abuse where the person makes people doubt what they’re saying, so the legitimacy of what you’re saying is pooped on, and pretty much your sanity by the end of it all.”
I’d never heard the expression before in my life, but sadly I could recognize it from shit I’d seen online. “That’s fucked up,” I rubbed my face, and then the reason for her explaining it came back to me. “Wait, so you’re saying people were doing that to you?”
“Well, yeah, and Evette did it tonight, and would have probably moved onto misdirecting what people knew had happened to me even more if we hadn’t all dealt with it the way we did.” When I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times, she leaned in and added, “She won’t have been the only one doing it, honey. It happens to pretty much everyone at some point, you just have to ride that wave and make sure you land with your feet firmly in the sand.”
Getting to my feet, I started pacing around the room, anger and irritation building inside me. “Hang on, so you’re the one who’s being abused emotionally, mentally, and physically, and they’re basically calling you a liar for that?” I asked incredulously.
“People are like that, Ellis,” she whispered sadly, flicking some fluff off the cushion in front of her. “I don’t understand why, but it happens. But when it’s them going through something, they want the world to know about it, and if you dare to ask any questions about it you get trashed all over again.”
I was trying to think of who would be saying this shit in Piersville so that I could set them straight myself, but I wasn’t sure where to start without looking like a paranoid psychopath. If I went up accusing people of it, too, that would make things worse, and I didn’t want to do that to Jose and Liv because they’d already been through enough. But holy shit, this just pissed me off.
“That’s called being a narcissist,” I growled. “They can dish it, but they’re the victim if it’s given back, and that’s just fucked up.”
“This is true, but I also got to set them straight tonight, because they’ll hear about it, regardless. And if they don’t believe me after that, then that’s their problem, not mine,” Jose reassured me. “It’s horrible fighting an invisible war, but once you’ve done it, if they continue that war it’s their issue, not yours. I fought a war for years with Larry, one that got to the stage where I was afraid to do anything or say anything that would set him off. Now that I’m free, I won’t let small-minded people – who gaslight because they want attention – rule me. The attention they’re craving won’t come from me because I’ve said my piece now and I’ve set the record straight, so the rest is on them.”